


Missing Puzzle Pieces

by reliablyimperfect



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depressed Liam, God this is so long, Kidnapping, M/M, The Narry is slight, there is smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 03:37:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3835558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reliablyimperfect/pseuds/reliablyimperfect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“And no matter what anyone says about grief, and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.”</p><p>If you asked Liam Payne today what the best decision he ever made was, he would tell you that it was letting Zayn Malik into his life. Had you told Liam that would be his answer the day he met Zayn, he would have personally checked you into a mental ward, because he’s that kind of person.</p><p>The day Liam and Zayn met the first time, Liam was in a very bad place, but with Zayn’s help, he was able to put the pieces of his life back in order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing Puzzle Pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jmcats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jmcats/gifts).



> I would like to thank jmcats and his book 'the beauty of this mess' for giving me my story title. I was 99% finished with this and it was still "Unnamed Ziam" on my laptop. Reading that story and his use of 'corner puzzle pieces' gave me this idea and it stuck with me like none of my other ideas had. So, thank you VERY much jmcats. This is for you.

_“And no matter what anyone says about grief, and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.”_

If you asked Liam Payne today what the best decision he ever made was, he would tell you that it was letting Zayn Malik into his life. Had you told Liam that would be his answer the day he met Zayn, he would have personally checked you into a mental ward, because he’s _that_ kind of person.

The day Liam and Zayn met the first time, Liam was in a _very_ bad place, but with Zayn’s help, he was able to put the pieces of his life back in order.

 

“Noah Payne, if you fall off of that swing, do _not_ come crying to me.” I am a _great_ dad, I swear, but not today. Not this week. Not this _month_.

“Daddy! Come swing me!” Noah’s voice called to me.

“I will, love. Let me finish setting up the picnic, yeah?” I called. I turned my head back, watching as little feet jerked back and forth, trying to swing alone, but moving far too quickly to cause any successful movement. I smiled to myself, shaking my head at my child’s antics. I turned my head back around to continue setting up the picnic I promised.

“Alright, munchkin, let’s get to swinging.” I groaned as I got to my feet, my knees popping from old age. I glanced over at the swings. When I didn’t spot the bright yellow shirt that I specifically picked out so I could spot it a mile away, that terrifyingly familiar _swoop_ in my heart appeared.

“Noah?” I called, scanning the park. The constant ache in my chest that has been there for almost a month was suddenly growing, threatening to swallow me, and I couldn’t let that happen, not now. My eyes, welling with the tears I haven’t let fall since I first heard the news, scanned over the park once more, falling on a bright yellow shirt. The sight of the jeans that were below them, and the familiar sneakers I have laced up so many times, let me breathe again, but, when I followed the outstretched arm to a tanned hand linked with little fingers, my eyes burned, and I sprinted over. The leather jacket that was slung over the man’s shoulder and the tattoos that littered the thin, but muscular, arms did nothing to stifle the intense terror that was rising in my gut.

My hand closed around the tiny shoulder, causing a face, a face that I had seen streaked with tears too many time in the last three and a half weeks to count, to look up at me. I pulled the five year old behind me and, placed my hands over tiny ears, and met the eyes of the man that was standing before me. He was smiling at me, an intense look in his eyes.

“Get the _fuck_ away from my daughter.” I hissed at him, narrowing my eyes at him. His smile was gone. He put his hands up, as if surrendering, and backed up a step.

“Relax, mate, she came up to me.” He said, a British accent, but with a different twang than most Londoners that I’m used to.

“I’m not your mate.” I all but spat at him. I spun on my heels, took my daughter’s hand, and pulled her away from the stranger. I was shaking, and I was almost certain I was scaring her, but she let me tug her along until we were back by the blanket, silent.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” She whispered, tears in her bright green eyes.

“No, no, darling. Daddy isn’t mad at you. I was _very_ worried.” I said, getting down on my knee in front of her. I looked into Noah’s eyes, _her_ eyes, and sighed. “Daddy loves you more than the world, little bug. I always will.” I pulled her into my chest, letting her sniffle herself out. “Please don’t wander off without me. You know why I worry so much.” I sighed. I hated talking about it with her, but the feeling of emptiness when I turned and she wasn’t on that swing left me breathless, and I already knew how my night would turn out. I would either convince her to sleep in bed with me, while I lay there awake all night, or I would sit in her bedroom until she woke up the next morning, watching her deep, even breaths. It would probably end up being the former. She never likes sleeping alone. This has happened far too many times over the few weeks, her crawling into bed with me at all hours of the morning.

“Do you want to stay and play or go home?” I asked.

“No. I wanna stay. You promised a picnic!” She huffed, pouting, looking heartbreakingly like her mother.

“Then a picnic you shall get!” I cheered, scooping her up. She squealed and I plopped her gently on the blanket I spread out to protect her arms from the grass, already knowing she would roll around some.

I set out a couple of containers filled with meats and cheeses, along with a box of crackers. I retrieved the premade sandwiches Harry spent twenty minutes making us this morning. I offered to let Harry tag along, knowing he loved park days, but he said he wanted to give us some daddy and daughter time. He knows we needed it: just us two.

After Noah had finished three fourths of a tuna salad sandwich and a few crackers with cheese and meat, she laid down on the blanket, her eyes closing.

“Are you ready for a nap?” I asked. She nodded, curling into a ball on the blanket. I knew she was tired; she was almost always tired. We both were. After I picked everything up, folded the blanket, and put everything back in the basket, I scooped her up with one arm. She was tiny. Always has been tiny. She takes after her mum. I grabbed the basket with my other arm and made my way back to my car.

I settled the sleepy girl in her car seat, buckling her up with minimal fuss. I pushed the picnic basket in under her feet and closed the door behind me, climbing in behind the wheel.

 

When we got home, Noah was fast asleep. It made me smile. With her eyes closed, I could clearly see the soft bruising on her eyelids. I hated that I couldn’t do anything to help her sleep other than wear her out. I carried her into the flat and into her room, hushing Harry as he stood up to talk. His eyes settled on Noah’s sleeping form and his mouth snapped shut. He knew how rare this was. I nodded at him and continued my way down the hall to her small bedroom. Harry and I were extremely lucky to find the three bedroom flat that we live in. I laid her in her bed and pulled off her jeans, knowing she’d get uncomfortable if I left them on and I wanted her to sleep as long as possible. I turned the baby monitor on next to her bed, kissed her forehead, and covered her up. After flicking her lights off and switching on her night light, I walked into my bedroom and grabbed my baby monitor, carrying it with me into the tv room where Harry was. I flopped down onto the couch next to my best mate, and flat mate, and sighed, scrubbing a hand over my face.

“How are you doing?” He asked in _that_ tone.

“Not now, H.” I pleaded.

“Will you be here for the party Friday? Niall’s throwing that ‘moving in’ party for his new flat mate and he really wants to see you and his niece. I don’t know how it’s a moving in party since it’s here. Their flat is just down the hall, but he wants it here.”

“Its cause our flat is always clean.” I chuckled half heartedly. “Yeah, I’ll go. Noah would love to see her Uncle Niall.” I said, letting out a small smile.

“You know I love you, babe, right?” He asked, tangling a hand in my hair. I needed a haircut.

“Yeah, you sap. I know you love me.” I pushed him off.

“I love your daughter more, she’s cuter.” He pouted.

“Wanker.” I stuck out my tongue.

“Are you sure _you’re_ not five?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes and stood up, not even bothering to reply. I went into the kitchen to fix us something for dinner, knowing Noah wouldn’t sleep for too much longer. Once her body realises that I’m not with her, she’ll get up and come out to eat.

After poking around in the fridge and pantry to see what was available, I decided on my special pasta: spaghetti. It was Noah’s favourite. And she’d hopefully perk up a little bit after seeing what I made for her.

I poured meatballs into a skillet and let them cook, stirring occasionally while I got the water for the noodles boiling. Once it was, I broke the spaghetti noodles in half, placing them in the bubbly water. When the meatballs were fully cooked, I poured in the sauce with them to heat. Right after the sizzling from that died down, I heard small sniffles coming through the monitor at my side.

“Harry, will you come watch dinner while I get her?” I asked. He appeared behind me without words, taking the wooden spoon out of my hand. I jogged down the hall, opening the door. I heard the sniffling before my eyes adjusted and I frowned when I could make out the small silhouette, quivering in the dark. I flicked on the lamp beside her bed, seeing the tear tracks on her cheeks.

“Hey, you. How was your sleep?” I asked in a soft voice.

“Okay. Where’d you go?” She asked, her bottom lip trembling. I swiped my thumb over her lip, stopping the tremble, and pulled her to my chest.

I stood up with her in my arms. Getting her to let me tug off her shirt wasn’t too hard, but when I tried to set her down to get her dressed, a sob broke out from her throat.

“No!” She wailed, her grip tightening in my hair.

“Okay, baby girl. It’s okay.” I hushed her and grabbed a pair of leggings from her drawer, along with an oversized superhero shirt that she swiped from me the last time I went through my ‘outgrown shirts’ box with her.

“Guess what’s for dinner.” I tried.

“Chicken?” She tried halfheartedly.

“No. Try again, monkey.” I bopped her nose and she rewarded me with a small grin. Whether it was from the nickname, or the poke, I wasn’t sure, but I latched onto the happiness.

“Is Uncle Harry in charge, or you?” She asked, her thinking face coming out full force.

“I made it, but he’s watching it now so it doesn’t burn.”

“I dunno, Daddy, tell me.” She laid her head against my chest and I smoothed a hand down her bare back, relishing in her smooth skin.

“Spaghetti.” I said softly. Her head snapped up to meet my eyes.

“Really?” She asked, skeptical. I don’t know why. We eat it almost every week because she’s so darn cute when she begs for it.

I nodded and she squirmed to be put down, almost instantly in a better mood. I loved that about her. She was easy to cheer up, even in these circumstances.

I set her down, but pulled her to a stop before she could run off.

“Let me get you dressed first. Don’t want Uncle Harry seeing you in your undies, do you?”

“I don’t care. He’s seen me in my undies. He gave me a bath when you went out with Uncle Niall.” She pointed out.

“Hush it. Please get dressed.” I huffed. She’s too smart for her own good. Both her and- No. We won’t think about that right now.

Noah smiled, taking her clothes from me. She sat down on the floor to tug on her leggings, and held up her arms so I could slip her shirt on over her head, pulling her long hair out from beneath the shirt.

“C’mon, kiddo.” I said. She jumped onto my back and I pretended to stagger under her weight. She was nothing, barely thirty five pounds. She knew she was small, both body wise, and height. She was lithe from her never ending energy and lack of hunger the past few weeks, but she was mine. She was perfect.

I pulled back her hair once we were sat down for dinner to keep as much sauce out of it as I could. Tonight wasn’t a bath night, although she could use it after rolling around outside today, but I think this day has been big enough for the both of us, and we were all waiting to cuddle up with a Disney film and lay on the couch together.

When dinner was done, I started on the dishes while Harry and Noah picked out a DVD. Although we both know which movie she’s going to pick. One day, _Toy Story_ will either break or get worn out, but she’s insistent. It’s the only one she wants to watch now. But we both know why.

It _her_ favourite movie.

 

Once the dishes were rinsed and in the dishwasher, I shuffled my way into the tv room, curling up on the couch with Harry next to me. He was awkwardly long and thin, but muscular, and he fit difficultly under my arm, but he was warm. With Noah curled up on my chest and Harry next to me, we got comfortable under the blanket provided by Noah.

Just as expected, Noah drifted off only thirty minutes in, soothed by my heartbeat like she has been since an infant-small and even more breakable than she is now. Harry turned down the volume to not disturb her, and I sighed, running my finger through her wavy hair.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Harry mumbled, nuzzling into my neck.

“I miss her.” I whispered. This is the only time I’ll let it out. Late at night, when Noah is asleep, where no one can see the inevitable tears that will leak from my eyes.

“I know. You’re doing really well keeping Noah distracted though, and I see how your face lights up whenever you make her smile.”

“She’s five, H. It shouldn’t be so hard to make her fucking smile.” I forced out, feeling short of breath. I always felt this way talking about _her_ , but I also felt lighter the next morning. I understood the pain Noah felt daily. I felt it too, tenfold. She knew what was going on, but she didn’t exactly knew what it meant. She’s still little enough to have her blissful ignorance on subjects such as these. My hand scrubbed over my face as the movie continued playing in the background, showing the toys welcoming Buzz to Andy’s room.

 I ran my palm over Noah’s back, feeling her deep, even breaths. They grounded me. I needed her. Her little hands still gripped the front of my shirt, as if scared I will leave her, too. I would never. Slowly, carefully, a sat up, letting her situate herself as I did, not wanting her to wake up.

“Night, H. See you in the morning.” I breathed to the lad on the couch.

“Night, Liam.” He said.

I went ahead and put her in bed with me, knowing she’d end up in here anyway, attempting for a sleep through the night. I stripped to my boxers, throwing on some running shorts for a little cover, and slipped into bed next to my daughter. Her body found mine, and she laid herself out on my chest, her hand curled into fists on my bare chest, small breaths puffing onto my collarbones. I love this little girl.

I let my eyes drift shut, listening to her deep, even breaths, and felt myself fall under.

 

***

 

“Noah, come pick out what you want to wear!” I called. I heard the patter of little feet and my daughter came skipping into the room, a huge grin on her face. Today was a good day. It was a good day for her, which meant it was a good day for both of us, which was perfect timing, because today was the day of that ‘housewarming’ party for Niall’s new flatmate.

After a little bargaining, which translated to extra ice cream at the party, I convinced Noah to _not_ wear leggings and a marvel shirt of mine, rather, letting me truly dress her up a bit. I made her try and pick out a nice outfit.

It didn’t surprise me at all when her first choice was a tutu. I raised my eyebrows.

“Try again.” I said. She sighed and rifled through her closet. She pulled out her dressy, nice overalls, her eyes pleading with me.

“Let me look and see if your shirt is clean.” I sighed. I searched through her drawer before coming up with her plain white shirt. It was bedazzled at the collar, and her favourite shirt that I still deemed as ‘nice.’ She squealed, clapping, and sat still while I pulled her clothes off, giggling at me from under the shirt as I pulled it over her head. These days were the days I loved: the days where she would smile and laugh at everything. The days when she was really five.

 

Our friends started to arrive, anxious to meet Niall’s new friend. It wasn’t a huge party, and there shouldn’t be too much drinking, which is why I allowed Noah to be here. I made sure there were kid friendly snacks tonight, like finger sandwiches and vegetables, and drinks other than beer and wine.

“Where is he?” I asked, laughing while I watched Noah climb over Louis.

“Niall texted a few minutes ago. He’s on his way over.” Harry said, staring at his phone. As if that was a cue, I heard the familiar Irish accent, followed by Noah’s squeal, having obviously caught sight of her favourite uncle. If Harry has any say in it, he’ll say it’s only because she doesn’t see him as often, and he brings her toys from the various places he visits while he tours around Europe. However, the grin on my face slipped off as I found my daughter not in my best friends’ arms, but in that tattooed guy’s arms. _Him_. From the park.

I stalked up to him, crossing my arms across my chest. I knew doing this makes my biceps look bigger, and Harry told me it was intimidating.

“I told you to stay away from my daughter.” I gritted through my teeth.

“Daddy! It’s Zaynie!” Noah squealed, hugging ‘Zaynie’ like she’d known him all her life.

“Sweetie, can you give us a minute to talk? Just us? Go find Uncle Niall; I saw him in the kitchen.” I said, taking my daughter from the man in front of me. I patted her bum, signaling her to run off, and grabbed the guy’s arm, dragging him into the hall.

I stood in front of him, staring him down. He was smaller than I was, and I could definitely take him, but I didn’t feel like fighting tonight. Of all the times I’ve felt like punching someone in the last month, now was not one of them. The man standing in front of me was obviously very attractive. Dark hair that was styled almost obsessively, with dark skin covered in darker ink. Everything about this man screamed _dangerous_ which is why I didn’t want him near Noah. I’ve made that mistake once and it will _never_ happen again.

“I told you to stay away from my daughter.” I finally spit out, realizing I had done nothing but blatantly check this guy out since we walked into the hall.

“I know you did. I’m Zayn.” He said, sticking his hand out with a lopsided grin. I stared at his hand for a minute, sizing him up, before I clasped my hand around his with a firm shake.

“Liam.” I offered. “And you’ve met my daughter, Noah.”

“She’s very sweet. Offered to help me out when I asked for directions the other day.” He chuckled.

“Yeah. She’s something alright.” I forced a smile out.

“Why’d you flip shit on me that day? Is it really the end of the world that I was with her?” He chuckled. Instantly, my mood came crashing down. I felt myself closing him out, and I turned on my heel.

“It _was_ the end of the world for me to see her walking about with a stranger.” I spat, disappearing into the flat.

 

I avoided Zayn for the rest of the party, content with hanging out with my daughter and my boys. When everyone had cleared out, well after midnight, and Noah was tucked up in my bed with heavy lidded eyes, I sprawled out on the couch. The guys were still here: Louis, Niall, and Harry. However, when I heard the toilet flush and Zayn walked out a few moments later, wiping damp hands on his jeans, I felt my lip curl. I immediately stood up, pushing past Zayn in the narrow hallway, ignoring the scent I caught lingering around him as I did so. He smells _so_ good.

I walked up to check on Noah, who I found asleep, her fists curled around _her_ teddy bear. My heart caught in my throat at the sight, and I found myself doubled over at the intense feelings it caused. I couldn’t stand it, and I fled the room. I found myself standing just outside of the tv room, listening to the conversation.

“I don’t think he likes me much.” I heard Zayn’s now familiar voice.

“Well what did you say to him?” Harry asked. Zayn repeated the conversation we had in the hallway, and the room fell silent, deathly so as the air conditioner kicked off at that moment.

“Go look above the fireplace. At the pictures.” Niall told him softly. I heard feet padding, and I sneakily moved into the kitchen to watch Zayn’s reaction.

“Who is this?” Zayn asked.

“That’s um, that’s Sophia.” I said, clearing my throat. The rest of the boys excused themselves to my room, letting me know they’re going to watch Noah.

“Who’s Sophia?” Zayn asked.

“She is, well- she _was_ my girlfriend. She’s Noah’s mum.” I told him. He handed me the picture and my breath caught in my throat. I had avoided looking up here for the past month. The three girls in the photo smiled back at me. Noah, Sophia, and _her_.

“Who is that?” Zayn asked softly, pointing to _her_.

“That’s…” My voice trailed off, and I sat on the couch, tracing my finger over the face I missed so much. “Ryan.” I whispered. “Her name is Ryan. She’s Noah’s twin.” I said as if he couldn’t tell already. They were 100% identical except for the freckle on the center of Ryan’s left cheek. Ryan was a little quieter. She was content to sit in a corner and just _watch_. Noah, however, had to _do_.

“Ryan and Noah.” Zayn said softly, moving to sit next to me on the couch.

“We wanted to give them nontraditional names since they were nontraditional babies.” I explained. “We were nineteen when they were born. I was going to drop out of Uni when Sophia told me, but she wanted at least one of us to have an education. So, she dropped out, and I finished it up in time for their second birthdays. I got a job and helped paid the bills. She enrolled them at a daycare center that she worked at during the summer, and we got by. It was great. Up until last month.” I trailed off. I had just spilled my story to this stranger, and I didn’t really feel that nervous of being judged.

“What happened last month?” Zayn pushed. Normally I’d snap when someone pushed me to talk about Ryan, but now, late at night, without Noah’s ears to overhear, I found myself spilling everything.

“I went to the store with Noah and Ryan, and normally I’d leave them both in the toy section to play together until I was done, or they’d bug me to get everything they saw, and I can’t say no to them. Sophia was the stern parent, but I’m getting better at it. I have to now. Anyway, we were at the store, and Noah had been sick, so I kept her with me, but I let Ryan go and play because I’m an _idiot_. When I went to get her, she wasn’t there. I was distraught, couldn’t think. I asked to watch the tapes to see if she had come to find me. They called over the intercoms for her to come to the front of the store, but she never came. I described the clothes she was wearing in case someone could see her and she didn’t realise I was talking to her, but still, nothing.” My words were stuttering by now, and my breath was ragged whenever I inhaled to keep going, but I _needed_ to get this off my chest. “I waited hours. By the time we found her on the tapes, it was too late. She was gagged. Some guy carried her out of the store. There were witnesses. _Someone_ saw the bastard carrying my daughter away, but no one thought anything of it. They just…let her go.”

“Liam, I-”

“No, I’m not done.” I managed. “It was almost a week later. Sophia was a wreck, but everyone was still looking. She said she wanted time to think, that she was going to drive up to her parents’ house for the weekend and she’d be back before lunch on Sunday. She didn’t make it back. She called me when she left their house, but she never made it home. I got a call from the police station at about eight that night, right after dinner was done. A drunk driver hit her, and it didn’t look good. I raced over to the hospital with Noah and I was there when she took her last breath. So then, I got to explain to Noah that, not only was her sister probably not coming back, but now her mummy wasn’t either.” I broke as I said that. We had both given Noah hope those first few days. That Ryan had just wandered off or gotten lost outside and was trying to find someone to bring her back. We knew how bad of lies they all were, but she was five, so she believed us. The night I told Noah, she was torn between letting me cuddle her and hating me. So she settled for crying into my shirt while she hit her hand against me.

“So I lost my daughter while she was right under my nose basically. And then my girlfriend too. So when I saw Noah with you at the park, I assumed the worst. I’m just an overprotective dad now.” I shrugged, trying to smile.

“It’s okay. I understand it now. You’re really strong.” Zayn said softly. Our eyes met and his trailed down to my lips, his tongue darting out to moisten his. I felt myself drawn to Zayn. Whether it’s the way he let me pour my heart out, and didn’t immediately offer me pity or ‘The Look’ that I’ve grown so accustomed to from parents who ‘understand what I’m going through.’ Like hell they do. Once they have their daughter ripped from them, their girlfriend killed, and their daughter broken, all in a matter of _hours_ they have no _clue_ what I’m going through. Regardless of the reason, I could feel the pull. Judging by the way Zayn was looking back at me, I think he could feel it too.

I felt his lips against mine, soft and warm. Before I could relax into the kiss, my highly trained ‘dad’ ears detected snuffling coming from the hall. I pulled back in time to see Noah stumbling down the hall.

“Daddy.” She whimpered, pawing sleepily at her eyes that were wet with tears.

“C’mere, monkey.” I said, patting my lap. She climbed into my lap, laying her head against my chest, letting out a ragged breath. Her hand took it’s spot right above my heart. I ran my hand over her head, playing with her hair, just like she likes.

“Daddy?” She whispered.

“Yes?” I asked equally as soft.

“I miss her.” I felt myself stiffen.

“Miss who?” I asked.

“Ryan,” She confessed. “And mummy,” Came next after a moment’s hesitation.

“I miss them too, baby girl.” I told her. “But they would both want you to get some sleep right now. It’s super late.” She nodded against my chest and settled, shutting her eyes. I looked up and met Zayn’s eyes, feeling incredibly embarrassed from our kiss.

“I’ll let you get some sleep.” He said softly, not breaking eye contact.

“You’re welcome to stay. Noah will sleep in my bed if you want to take hers, or the couch. Like I said, it’s very late, and I’d rather you not be out at this time.” I offered.

“I live like two doors down the hall. However, I’ll crash here, if you don’t mind.” He smiled at me. I nodded and he faced Noah. “Night, Noah.”

“Night night, Zaynie.” She mumbled sleepily. I cradled her against my body and carried her up to bed with me. Eventually, I would like to be able to know she can sleep alone, but until then, I was just fine with having her to cuddle with. Sophia was a super comfy cuddler, and without her, I always felt lonely and cold at night. I laid Noah in bed and changed into my sleep clothes before climbing in beside her. I opened my arms so she could crawl into my chest, and she sighed happily, fists curled.

Sophia and I could never figure out why she slept with her hands fisted. The only thing I could come up with is, when she was a baby, she often took naps with her little hands curled around my finger. I loved watching the two of them sleep. The comforting sounds of their little puffs of air always relaxed me.

Now, as I watched the small child sleep, I was struck with an agonizing guilt. It was my fault that Ryan was taken. I was the one who let her go off in the store by herself. However, as _awful_ as it is that Ryan was taken, had both girls been there that day, the man could have easily taken both of them, and my world would have ended. Noah is what keeps me going. If I didn’t have her, I don’t know where I would be. The loss of two of my three favourite girls- the missing puzzle pieces to this little family I would give my life for- wounded me in a way that will _never_ heal. But Noah makes all that worth it. She is my world now.

I loved Sophia, I did. We fell out of love a few months after the girls were born, but we were close enough to each other that we stayed together in order to give the girls two parents. She had been my best friend growing up, and when we got together, it was like nothing really changed, except there was kissing and a sexual component to our relationship. The end of the relationship was one hundred percent mutual, no bad feelings. When we broke up, it was like we were friends again. It was like me helping Harry raise his child, except the girls were both of ours.

I, feeling too restless to stay in bed, settled Noah down next to me and exited the room. I walked down the hall, into the kitchen, and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. I filled the cup with water and took a sip. Rustling from the tv room alerted me, and I moved into the room. I saw Zayn sitting up on the couch looking adorably confused.

“Hey.” He practically jumped out of his skin, whipping around after he jumped off the couch, his fists raised as if in defense. “Woah! It’s Liam.” I chuckled. His tense body relaxed, and we both sat back on the couch.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked, his voice was rough from sleep and it stirred something inside me that I thought I had buried when I got with Sophia. I’ve known for years I wasn’t entirely straight. I’ve had two flings with guys that didn’t last, but I’ve typically preferred girls. However, with Zayn, all of those ‘typical’ and ‘usual’ things I’ve grown accustomed to with Sophia flew out the window. He was different. The initial meeting I had with him, although terrifying for me, didn’t scare him away. He stood his ground out in the hall against me: an angry father.

“No. Did I wake you up?” I asked. He nodded, stretching, and relaxed into the back of the couch.

“It’s okay.” He said when I opened my mouth to apologise. “Is Noah still asleep?” I nodded.

We fell into a comfortable silence and I let my sight glide over his body. He was slim. I could smell the faint scent of cigarettes on his clothing, hinting that he was a smoker. And, no matter how bad of a habit it was, and how unhealthy it was, there was hardly anything hotter to me than a fit lad with a fag between his lips. Especially if the guy had thick pink lips, like this one. Fuck, I was _so_ screwed.

With the short sleeved shirt he was wearing, I could openly stare at the tattoos on his arms. They ranged from random initials, to a microphone that took up half of his forearm. The neck of his shirt was dipping down, letting me see something that looked like a different language on his collarbone. The overwhelming need to swipe my tongue over this spot had my boxers tightening slightly. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and met Zayn’s eyes. He was watching me, and he probably saw me checking him out. I didn’t care.

 

 

I must have fallen asleep on the couch with Zayn. When my eyes opened again, it was bright outside. Zayn’s gentle snoring is all I heard, but our position on the couch was what startled me. He was curled under my arm with his back pressed against the couch. He had an arm thrown over my chest and a leg curled over my hips. When I shifted, I could feel what woke me. I sighed and shifted my hips again, unable to help the soft sigh that left my mouth from the sharp _zing_ I felt shoot up my spine. The feel of Zayn’s firm thigh against my dick was great. I sighed and pressed my hips up again, harder this time. I settled my hand over Zayn’s knee and pressed his knee against me, causing his leg to press harder against my hips, trapping my throbbing cock. I breathed out shakily. Having a five year old, and now no girlfriend, left me with lonely wanks in the shower. I didn’t need them too often; my mind was enough to ruin the moment as soon as I let my thoughts wander, but having an incredibly fit bloke wrapped around my body did things to me. Such as making me incredibly horny.

I pushed down against his knee and canted my hips up. Zayn groaned and I froze.

“Mornin’.” He mumbled.

“H-Hey.” I stammered. I could feel my thighs quivering and I knew now was _not_ the time to have a conversation. “I’ll be right back.” I groaned, trying to move his leg off of me without calling attention to my now leaking cock.

“Wait,” He ordered. He stretched and shifted his leg. His eyes opened, meeting mine and he asked, “Don’t you want help?”

“W-What?” I asked, frozen again. Zayn didn’t respond, but he shifted his leg again to press against my dick and I couldn’t help but let my eyes flutter closed with a groan. “Shit.” I cursed. Zayn swung his leg all the way over my hips and sat up, straddling my hips. Upon pressing my hips up into his, I could feel the heat radiating from between his legs.

“Been awake the whole time. I was letting you get off against my leg. What kind of person rubs one off against a sleeping man they just met?” Zayn panted.

“Apparently this kind of person.”  I mumbled to myself. By the snort that came from above me, I could tell he heard it. I wasn’t embarrassed; I was too turned on.

I felt Zayn press his hips down against mine, rubbing in swift, smooth circles. I panted out a request for “Faster, harder,” and he obliged. I could feel myself climbing the peak, the familiar heat coiling in my belly. I warned Zayn of this, but it didn’t faze him, it only seemed to encourage him. His hips stuttered for a second, signaling he was close as well, and I pressed my hips up and pulled him down by his neck.

I sealed my lips over his, licking into his mouth sloppily. Our tongues clashed wetly and he whined high in his throat. I groaned into his mouth from the sound and pushed my hips up, squeezing my eyes shut as I felt the first spurt of cum get ripped out. My breath was ragged as I panted and I ran my finger through Zayn’s hair, catching slightly on a tangle from his sleep. His voice caught in his throat and he moaned loud enough for me to worry he might wake Noah, but the thought slipped from my mind as I opened my eyes. His hips canted once, twice more and, with another sharp yank on his hair, he froze, continuing soon after with less frantic movements.

His body collapsed against mine, panting, as he came down from the clouds. I rubbed a hand over his spine, tracing circles around the knobs. I could feel the stickiness cooling in my boxers awkwardly, but I couldn’t bring myself to move quite yet. Zayn fit against me perfectly-as perfect as a corner puzzle piece-and I couldn’t describe the feeling I had. It scared me. I breathed in, hoping it could be shrugged off as evening my breathing. I caught a whiff of the intense _Zayn_ swirling around me and I hummed low in my throat. He smelled amazing.

“Liam? Your munchkin wants you!” Harry sang from the hallway. Zayn scrambled off of me and ran into the kitchen, hiding from his waist down behind a counter, not meeting my eyes. I sighed. _Obviously it didn’t mean anything to him, you idiot._ I chastised myself internally and stood up to go check on my daughter.

I walked into the dark room to find Noah sitting up in bed, sobbing. She was a fairly quiet crier, so I knew this wasn’t going to be fun. She wouldn’t simply perk up with the promise of ice cream. It would take a lot to get her to smile again.

“Noah, Daddy needs you to close your eyes. Count to twenty five and them open them again, okay sweetie?” I said in a soft voice. I moved into the bathroom as she started counting and practically ripped off my shorts and boxers. I swiped a _freezing_ cloth over my crotch, hissing from the cold, but time was ticking and my daughter was more important. I pulled on a clean pair of boxers when I walked into the room again and, as Noah said ‘twenty three,’ I settled in beside her. She finished up counting and collapsed into my side, shakily breathing against my neck. I felt chill bumps rise over my skin and I pulled the upset girl onto my chest, letting her wrap her small hands around my thumbs.

“What’s got you so upset, baby girl?” I asked softly. My hand itched to run through her hair, smooth down her spine, do _something_ , but she was holding tight to my fingers and I didn’t want to upset her further.

“He came back to get me.” She whimpered.

“Who did?” I asked.

“ _He_ did!” She wailed. “The guy who took Ryan!”

“You saw him?” I asked, staring down at my daughter.

“No. It was just some guy, but I saw Ryan there. He hit her and I couldn’t do anything. You _let_ him take me! Just like you let him take Ryan!” She said, her voice getting louder until she was shouting at me. I let her though; I knew she needed to get it out or this would be an even worse day.

“Noah, I didn’t let the man take Ryan. I’d give anything to get your sister back.” I said.

“Then why aren’t you looking for her?” She asked.

“Because I’d just be wandering around looking for her. Noah, the police are looking for her. They have dogs that can track her down.” I explained.

“Then why haven’t they found her?”

“Because London is a big place, baby girl. They can’t do everything. They are looking into everything. The police department said they might have a lead, but they’re going to look into it further.”

“They wouldn’t need to if you wouldn’t have let him take her.” She grumbled.

“Noah, I _didn’t_ let him take her.”

“Yes you did! He walked right out the door with her! I heard you talking to the people at the store! He walked right out of the store and you didn’t do anything about it!” She screamed. He face was red and tears streaked down her cheeks. She moved off the bed and I grabbed her arm when she was standing up. I was sitting on the bed, her standing in front of me, and I made her look me in the eyes.

“I didn’t know he was taking her. I never even saw him. We were shopping.” I explained.

“Liar! I can’t believe you let him take her.” She moved away and I reached out for her again.

“Don’t touch me!” She shrieked. My arm froze, still outstretched but not moving towards her.

“Noah-” She cut me off.

“I hate you!” She screamed. She ran out of the room crying, and I sat there, frozen. I could almost _hear_ my heart shatter as my mind replayed her words. My daughter hates me.

“Liam?” Harry called me softly from the doorway and I looked up at him. I shook my head at him, staring back down at his lap. “She didn’t mean that.”

“Then why did she say it?”

“She’s hurting. She’s scared, Liam; she had a nightmare.”

“And that makes her hate me? She’s had nightmares before.” I said. “She lashed out at Sophia. She never lashed out at me.”

“Liam, Sophia isn’t here anymore.” He said carefully.

“I know that, Harry.” I snapped.

“What I’m saying is if Noah lashed out at Sophia and she’s not here anymore, who is here?”

“She’s never said that. To anyone.” I sighed. “Especially me.”

“She’s a kid, Li. They make mistakes.” I nodded and he sighed, walking out of the room.

I lay down in bed and pulled the sheets over my head. All I wanted to do right now was take a nap. Last night with Zayn I slept amazingly. He fit against my side seamlessly.

“Hey.” A soft voice made me jump, and I pulled the sheet down far enough to see Zayn’s lean form pressed against the door frame. I sighed and swiped the tears off my face as inconspicuously as I could.

“Hey.” I mumbled.

“Can I sit?” I nodded and he sat down on the other side of the bed. I rolled over to face him. “Are you okay?”

“Fuck, Zayn. I’m anything _but_ okay.” I chuckled dryly. I started when I felt a hesitant hand comb through my hair. He jerked his hand back but when I settled, it came back. I let my eyes close and his hand continued to muss my hair. “Why me?” I whispered. “Why did this happen to _me_?”

“Cause you’re strong enough to get through it?” He suggested.

“But I haven’t.”

“It’s been a month. It might take _years_ to get over this.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” I said honestly. “My daughter hates me.”

“Christ, Liam, she doesn’t hate you. Anything but hate. She loves the mess out of you.”

“She just told me she hates me.” I reminded him humourlessly.

“She’s also face down on the couch screaming at herself for being ‘a stupid daughter.’” He informed me. I was on my feet in an instant, about to run out and tell her that it’s okay, but Zayn held me back. “Harry is with her. Told me to come and talk to you for a minute.” His demeanor changed instantly. He went from strong and confident to quiet and small.

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked him, sitting us both down side by side on the bed.

“Do you want to go out with me?” He asked suddenly.

“Like… a date?” He nodded. “When?”

“Oh! Um…tomorrow. Is lunch or dinner better for you?”

“Lunch, but I’ll have to ask Harry since he’ll probably watch Noah while I’m gone.” He nodded again. “What made you ask me?”

“I thought you were fit that day at the park. I saw you sitting on the blanket watching Noah. Then she came over to me, and she was just so sweet. My heart started beating really hard when you walked up to me, and then you yelled at me and…” He trailed off, staring down at the fingers in his lap that were twisting around each other. I saw his teeth sink into his lower lip and I resisted pulling it out. He looked extremely sexy like that, but then I realised I hadn’t responded.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I never really did apologise for that. But I am _very_ sorry for blowing up at you. Both times.” I said sheepishly. I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly and I looked up to see his eyes on my bicep. “Like what you see?” I asked, flexing slightly. He nodded mutely and I chuckled. I poked him in the side and he twitched, and he had a grin on his face. When he looked back up at me, I caught the most adorable sight. His tongue was pushed against the back of his teeth, and I could see it through the places his teeth didn’t quite meet. He was something else. I could tell there was a stupid smile on my face, like that is pasted on when I spend a day with Noah.

“I need to go check on my daughter.” I said. He stood up quickly and nodded.

“Sorry I kept you.” He said, looking down at his feet. He gets this aura around him whenever he thinks he’s done something wrong. He gets small and quiet. There’s a word for that: submissive. I bet he’s a bottom. He’s pretty slim, but he’s got lots of muscle. He’d probably put up quite a fight if we tried to wrestle, but I bet I could beat him.

“It’s fine. I have a date for tomorrow, yeah?” He grinned and nodded at me.

“I’ll meet you there? We can go to Olive Garden?” He suggested.

We confirmed the date and time for tomorrow and I kissed his cheek quickly and darted out of the room to see my daughter.

I walked into the tv room and saw the small body of my child laid out on the couch. Upon getting closer, I could hear the sniffles and whimpers that she was emitting. I laid a hand on her, smoothing it up and down her back.

“Go ‘way, Uncle Hazza.” She sniffed.

“’M not Uncle Haz.” I said softly. Her head snapped up and I was met with the sight of her tear streaked cheeks. She jumped at me and I caught her easily.

“I’m sorry, Daddy! I didn’t mean it! I don’t hate you! I love you!” She sobbed into my shoulder. She was trembling, and she would more than likely get over worked with all this emotion.

“Shhh, darling. I know you didn’t mean it. We just both need to relax a bit, yeah?” I calmed her, petting her hair. She nodded. “How about we both lay down?” She nodded again. “Don’t get all quiet on me again. You know I don’t like it.” For at least two weeks after her mum died, she hardly said a word. Her average then, and yes I counted, was about ten words a day. I hated that time. Only Harry, who stayed out most of the times to give us some space, would really converse with me.

“Hey.” I looked up to see Zayn in the doorway, and I smiled at him. “You good?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” He picked up his jacket and I frowned. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah. Got called into work. Emergency.” He was out the door before I could ask any other questions.

“So, Noah. Looks like it’s just you, me, and Uncle Hazza.” I said.

“I’m actually heading out. I’ve got a date.” He chuckled.

“Who, Uncle Hazza?!” Noah asked.

“It might be Uncle Niall.” He said.

“You should bring him by sometime. I need to approve of him.” I winked at Harry and he rolled his eyes.

“You’ve met him plenty of times. I’ll be back later. Try not to burn the flat down.” He stuck his tongue out at me.

“Oh get out.” He held up his hands in surrender and retreated out the door, leaving me and my daughter to our own devices.

“Looks like it’s just you and me now.” Noah said. I laughed.

“What shall we do, my love?” I asked her.

“Movie night!” She cried, throwing a fist up in the air.

“Your wish is my command. What movie?”

“Umm… _Lion King_?” She asked. I nodded.

“Grab it while I start the popcorn.” I told her. I left her to rummage through our DVDs while I shuffled into the kitchen. I flicked on the kettle and grabbed a bag of popcorn, placing it into the microwave to pop. The popcorn timer went off before the kettle started whistling. When I poured the popcorn into a bowl, the water for tea was done. I placed a tea bag in my favourite mug and poured water over it. I took the bowl and my mug into the tv room.

I laid down on the couch and let Noah put the DVD in. After she put it in, she grabbed the remote and came over to me. She climbed over me and settled on my chest, her cold feet tickling my thighs.

“I love you, Daddy.” She whispered.

“I love you too, silly girl.”

We didn’t make it that far into the film before the phone rang. I left Noah on the couch to answer it. I saw a familiar number.

“Hello?”

“This is the London Police Department, is this Liam Payne?”

“Yes, how can I help you?”

“I’m calling to inform you that there was a lead in your daughter’s case. However, another young girl has been abducted. The man who took your daughter seems to have a type. I think, with this latest piece of information, that we will be able to track this man down. We will call to let you know more as we discover it.”

“Thank you so much!” I exclaimed.

“I hope you get your daughter back, Mr. Payne.” The dial tone sounded, signaling he hung up, and I grinned to myself before I dialed Harry’s number.

“Harry! They think they have a lead!” I grinned into the phone.

“Li, that’s great!” He cried.

“What do I do?” I asked breathlessly.

“Celebrate! Aren’t you going out with Zayn tomorrow?”

“How did you hear about that?”

“Zayn tells Niall. Niall tells me.” He laughs.

“I don’t like him anymore. Hey! Can you daughter sit tomorrow?” I asked, remembering I needed him to watch Noah.

Yeah, sure. I need time with my niece.” I could tell he was smiling. He loves Noah. He loves both of them, actually. “Anyway, back to what I was saying, you should _celebrate_ with him.” He said. I sputtered.

“Hate you. I’ve met him once. I’m not just going to jump in bed with him.”

“You _love_ me! And you deserve a little fun, Li. I’m serious.” He said, smacking a kiss through the receiver.

“Go kiss your boyfriend.” I laughed.

“I will!” He hung up, but, had he been here, I would’ve smacked him. He knew it, too.

I felt antsy. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go and sit back down with Noah, but I couldn’t think of anything to do. Suddenly, I had an idea.

“Hey, Noah?” I called, rounding the corner into the tv room with my wallet, keys, and phone already in hand. I already knew her answer. I saw the little girl perched on the edge of her seat, her eyebrows furrowed, as she stared intently at the screen. Simba’s father was dying. I let the scene end, and grabbed her attention. She looked at me.

“Do you wanna walk down to the ice cream shop and get some ice cream?”

“Yes!” She screamed. She jumped up before I even asked, and pulled me into her room so she could change. I threw a pair of leggings onto her bed and she immediately pulled the shorts off that she had on. I let her hold onto my shoulders as I pulled the leggings over her legs.

“Can I keep this shirt on?” She asked, looking up at me with her large, green eyes. I could rarely say no to Sophia, and that goes the same for my girls. I inspected the shirt, like I was really contemplating it, to make Noah laugh. I succeeded.

“I suppose.” It was an old shirt of mine. She seems to have more of my shirts than her own. It had a swipe of scarlet paint on the sleeve and a few spatters on the torso. It was from when Sophia made me paint the girls’ room. At the time, we thought we were simply having a daughter. Our original idea was to name her Scarlet, hence the paint colour, but when we learned there were two babies, we switched ideas and went with the ‘nontraditional’ idea.

Out the door we went. I let Noah prance a few yards ahead of me, whining at me to hurry. She wandered over the sidewalk a lot, examining bushes and trees. However, when the loud, deep bark of a dog sounded, she yelped and sprinted back to me. I held her hand as we walked past the fence, the dog barking the whole time.

About seven months ago, Ryan and Noah were “attacked” by a dog. They didn’t get hurt. It didn’t even touch them. All it did was chase them. Frankly, the dog wanted to play, but it was a _huge_ dog. It could’ve easily put its front paws on my shoulders. That’s really what scared them. Ryan is wary, but not near as bad as Noah when it comes to dogs.

 

The walk back home was uneventful. Noah, hyper from the sugar, practically _bounced_ all the way home. Harry will probably kill me for giving her sugar this late, but she’s so cute. When we were about a hundred yards from the front door she shouted, ‘I’ll race you!’ and then took off running.

Even with my running history, I couldn’t catch up to her in time. She is very fast.

“Alright, Noah, you won!” I congratulated her, high fiving the small girl.

Harry was sprawled out on the couch when we walked in. Noah yelped with glee and jumped on top of him, making him shout in surprise and groan.

“What did I say about jumping on Uncle Hazza?” I asked her. I raised my eyebrows when she didn’t respond, and she shuffled her feet shyly.

“To not to.”

“Do you have anything to say to Uncle Hazza?”

“Sorry, Charlie!” She grinned up at him. He ruffled her hair, forgave her, and then danced out of the way of her retaliation. I’m the only one that can get away with touching her hair.

 

***

 

He was just late. I _know_ Zayn wouldn’t blow me off. We agreed to meet at Olive Garden at three, but here I am, at three thirty, and I’m still alone. I embarrassingly waited fifteen more lonely minutes before I sighed and stood up. He ditched me.

I yanked the front door open and slammed it shut angrily. I can’t believe he would do that.

“Daddy’s home!” Noah squealed. I forced a smile on my face for my daughter, but didn’t fool Harry.

“Noah bug, can Daddy and I talk?” Harry asked her. She looked between us skeptically before nodding and going to her room.

“What happened? Did he turn down sex?” Harry laughed.

“He didn’t even show up.” I grumbled, walking into the kitchen. I pulled out a bottle of water and drank almost half of it before I faced Harry again.

“He ditched you?” I nodded.

“He’s a catch.” I said sarcastically.

“Li, I’m sure there’s a reason.” He said.

“There’s always a reason, Harry.” I sighed. “Will you watch Noah? I need a run.” He nodded silently and I thanked him half heartedly before I walked upstairs.

I passed Noah’s room on the way to mine and she followed me into my room.

“What’s wrong, Daddy?” She asked.

“Nothing, darling. Daddy is a little hyper, so I’m gonna go run for a bit. Harry’s here if you need anything okay?” She nodded silently. I pulled off my shirt and changed into some gym shorts. I looked over at Noah. She was playing with her fingers. It made my heart swell. She got that from me. When I didn’t want to look someone in the eyes, or when I try to distract myself from crying, I will play with my fingers to give me something else to focus on.

“What’s wrong, bug?”

“Are you mad at me?” She whispered.

“What? No! Noah, why would I be mad? Have you been naughty?” I asked. She shook her head. “Then why would I be mad at you.” She shrugged. “Use your words, please?”

“You didn’t talk to me when you got home. Uncle Hazza told me to go to my room. And you won’t talk to me now.” She sniffed quietly.

“No, no, darling. Daddy isn’t mad at you. Daddy’s just had a long day, and I need to go run to get rid of some stress. I promise I’m not mad, okay?” She nodded and I pulled her hand until she rose up so I could hug her. “I love you.” I sang, drawing out the ‘you’.

“I love you too, Daddy.”

 

The repetitive feeling of my feet hitting the pavement lulled my mind. All I could think about was Zayn. He was taking over my head. Why didn’t he show up? Did he forget, or realise that he didn’t want to date a guy with a family as messed up as mine? My feet got tangled and, when I hit the pavement, I cursed sharply. I stood up, shakily testing all my limbs to make sure I wasn’t injured. I had a pretty badly scraped knee and hand, but, other than that, I was okay. I took a deep breath, and continued running. My knee was throbbing and I knew I wouldn’t be able to run as long as I’d like. I made one last turn that would take me back home and, as I jogged closer, I saw him.

He was standing outside, leaned up against the building. I cursed when I realised I’d either have to wait outside until he went in, or walk right past him. Trying to be the bigger person, I decided to walk in. He means _nothing_ to me. _Keep telling yourself that_. I thought dryly.

“Hey, Liam!” Zayn called as I got closer. I made out a small, white stick hanging between his fingers and, when he brought the cigarette up to his lips, curling them deliciously, I looked away and continued inside. “Liam?”

“Bugger off.” I grumbled when he followed me to the door.

“Oh. What’d I do?”

“You forgot. I waited for almost an hour.” I growled, backing him closer to the wall. His head went back, showing me his neck, and I had the overwhelming urge to mark him. Sink my teeth into his neck and suck until his blood rose. His eyes flashed darker before they settled, and they widened.

“Shit! Our date was today!” He exclaimed.

“I know. I was there.” I said.

“I’m sorry, Liam. I got caught up at work doing paperwork. Oh! Congrats on the lead for your daughter!” He grinned.

“Did Niall tell you?” He shook his head. “Harry?” Another shake. “Then how’d you know about the lead?”

“Oh! I’m working the case. In the background, but I know what’s going on.” He grinned.

“What? Working the case?”

“I work at the police station in town. You didn’t know that?” I shook my head. “I moved here because this was the closest location to the station that was for sale when I moved in.”

“You were at work that late?”

“I work odd hours. Mostly just when they need an extra body, but it pays well. I just got home, actually. A few minutes ago. Came out for a smoke and saw you.” I then remembered my lack of a shirt and noticed him shamelessly checking out my torso.

“Yeah? Like anything you see?” I asked, moving him back against the wall. Again, he exposed his neck, but this time he _whined_.

“Fuck, Zayn.” I breathed, leaning my head against his shoulder. His body shuddered when I breathed out against his skin, and I smirked into his neck, flicking my tongue out quickly. The bodily response I got was shocking. His body was completely pliant, only barely keeping itself upright.

“So, Mr. Police Man, do you have any handcuffs?” I whispered into his ear, licking against the shell.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Good. Could think of a few ways to use them, can’t you?” He nodded. “Well, Zayn, have a good night!” I called, walking into the building.

“Liam!” He squawked. I turned and met his _black_ gaze. “Please fuck me. We can go to mine?”

“Sorry, Z. I’ve got to get home. Plus, I don’t fuck before the first date.” I winked, brushing my hand over the evident tent in his jeans. I heard his breath hitch and I jogged upstairs.

I opened the door and saw Noah and Harry at the table.

“Hey. There’s a plate on the counter if you want to eat now.” Harry said. I nodded and fetched it, sitting down beside Noah.

“Ew, Daddy. You smell.” Noah wrinkled her nose.

“That’s not very nice.” I pouted.

“But I’m trying to eat!” She sassed. I rolled my eyes and switched seats.

“Liam, what the hell did you do to your knee?” Harry asked, jumping up.

“Swear jar!” Noah chirped. Harry cursed softly. “Times two!”

Every time someone in our group of friends swears in front of Noah, they have to put fifty pence in the swear jar. Eventually, it will either go towards a toy or vacation that I will take Noah on. Hopefully Ryan can come too.

“Okay, missy, I’ll do times two, but go grab the first aid kit for me, yeah? Its-”

“Above the sink in Daddy’s bathroom. I know.” She smiled and skipped down the hall to my room, coming back out with the white box. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, bug.”

“Harry, you don’t have to do anything. I can just shower and put a bandage on it.”

“I don’t want you infected. And, trust me, neither do you.” I sighed and sat on the counter with my leg stretched out while he cleaned up my leg and, when questioned about any other injuries, my hand.

“Harry, that _hurts_!” I yelped as he sprayed my wounds with something.

“It’ll only sting for a second. Plus, you’ll take this pain over the pain of infection. Now, hush.”

I stopped talking and let him fuss. He wrapped up my leg and hand and knee and, to please Noah, put a pound in the swear jar. Then, we went back to dinner.

Once dinner was done and I had showered, carefully avoiding my bandages, I filled up my large bath tub again for Noah. While the water was running, I poured in some bubbles and stirred them up, making the bubbles form quicker. I remember when they were infants. Sophia and I lived in a flat that didn’t have a bath so, to bathe the girls we used the sink. Once they were old enough to support their heads on their own, I took to showering with one of them every night. I swapped nights with each girl, standing under the not-too-hot water with a tiny girl tucked against my chest. It was relaxing, being able to hold them. Skin to skin contact always soothed Ryan, and Noah just loved cuddles, especially from their father. I always felt a little guilty. It was very clear from the time they could talk that I was the favourite parent. They loved their mother dearly, but they both clung to me the most. Sophia never complained.

“Noah! Bath time!” I called. She shuffled in and, after pulling off her clothes, she settled into the tub. The great thing about this flat, in addition to the three rooms, was the large bathtub. It could easily fit both Harry and me, so Noah was nothing. It was deep enough so that, when it was as full as it could get without hitting the overflow drain, the water still came up to Noah’s armpits. It was a great tub for soaking. I left her to play for a bit while I cleaned up, the door open and my ears tuned in to her shouts and laughs as she played whatever game came to mind.

When I got done with the dishes, I went back into the bathroom.

“You ready for cleaning?” I asked her. She shook her head and reached out a bubbly hand.

“Play with me, Daddy?” She pleaded.

“Alright. What am I doing?” I asked.

“Will you be the prince?” She grinned. I nodded.

When we’ve played to her heart’s content, and she was shriveled up like a prune, she finally let me wash her. I soaped up her hair and rinsed it. She stood up and I squeezed soap into her little hands and I let her scrub her body while I conditioned her hair.

“I’m clean, Daddy!” She giggled. I pulled the plug out of the bath and poured water over her to get the remaining bubbles off. When she stepped out, I wrapped her in her hooded monkey towel. It was a light brown towel with monkey ears. When she turned around, there was also a tail.

“C’mon, monkey. Let’s get you dressed.” She led me into her room and I let her pick her outfit and helped her get dressed. I picked her up when she was dressed and threw her over my shoulder.

“Daddy? When can I see Zaynie again?” She asked, not at all fazed by this.

“Want Daddy to text him and see if you can walk over and say goodnight right now?”

“Yes!” So, after running it by Zayn-mostly to make sure he was dressed; I knew he wouldn’t mind seeing Noah-I opened the door and pointed her to the right door.

“Number seven, love.” I said. She walked down the hall, studying the doors on either side of her. She found the right door and knocked politely.

“Hello, little munchkin.” Zayn sang, leaning against his door. I walked down to his door and he grinned over Noah’s head at me.

“And hello, Daddy.” He smirked at me and I felt my dick twitch, interested, and I glared at him. I waited until Noah looked up at Zayn and flipped him off. He snickered into his hand and Noah smiled at both of us.

“Hi, Zaynie!” She chirped.

“Sweetie, you know his name is just Zayn, right?” I asked.

“Zayn…” She tried out on her tongue. “I don’t like it.” She pouted.

“That’s not very nice.” I scolded.

“It’s fine. I know what she meant. But I like Zaynie.” He smiled. I looked down at my daughter and closed my eyes.

“Daddy says its bedtime.” She frowned.

“Well, goodnight, little one.” Zayn smiled at her. She wrapped her arms around his legs and he looked shocked. He wrapped his arms around my daughter and, instead of feeling the _swoop_ of dread, I felt my heart clench with how domestic it was. Walking away from Zayn was difficult that night.

I got Noah tucked into her bed, purposely _not_ looking at the second bed in the room, and went into the kitchen to finish cleaning up. I grabbed a glass for my bedside table and filled it with water. When I was done with that, I went into my room and stripped to my boxers, climbing into bed. The cool sheets cooled my skin and I fell asleep quickly.

 

When I woke up, the sun wasn’t up, making me wonder why I was awake. A sob that broke the silence answered that question.

“C’mere.” I mumbled. She crawled into my bed and curled into my side. I could feel her tears on my shoulder and, when I ran my hand down her spine, I felt her bare skin. “Where’s your shirt, monkey?”

“Got hot.” She mumbled.

“Do you want to talk?” I asked, playing with her hair.

“No. Sleepy.” She was going back to her ‘not talking’ stage. I sighed, but let her get some more sleep. I closed my eyes, shifting a bit to get comfortable.

 

When I opened my eyes, the sun was out and bright, and my bed was empty.

“Noah?” I called. I went into her room and, when I saw her bed empty, my heart rate picked up. I speed walked down to Harry’s room and flung his door open. “Do you have Noah?” I asked, panicking a little.

“What? No? Why?”

“She came and got in my bed early this morning and, when I woke up, she was gone!” I put my hand on my chest and tried to take a deep breath. “Harry.” I choked.

“Shit, shit, shit. Breathe!” He pushed me down onto my bum and forced my head between my knees. I felt a piece of plastic against my lips and I inhaled the medicine. The inhaler was new. I got it after Ryan was taken. I’d had a lot of shortness of breaths spells then, and Sophia worried about me, so I had gotten a simple inhaler. As I inhaled the medicine a second time, I felt my breathing start easing up.

“Fucking hell, Harry. Where the _fuck_ is she?” I asked. I could feel the tears leaking from my eyes, but I didn’t care. I wanted my daughter. “I can’t do this again, Harry.” I opened my mouth to say something else, couldn’t get anything out, gave up, and retreated to my bedroom.

I don’t know how long I laid in bed. It could have been days, or minutes. A small noise announced a presence in the room.

“Go away, Harry. I’m _so_ not in the mood for a pep talk.” I growled hoarsely. I hadn’t talked in hours, and my voice was rough.

“Hey, Li.” A soft voice spoke. I lifted my head halfheartedly and saw Zayn standing in the doorway.

“Hi.” I sighed.

“I have something for you.” He said.

“What?”

“Look.” I lifted my head again, but this time, I saw a smaller body next to him. For a moment, in the dark of the room, the small, uncertain stance made me think it was Ryan, but my mind caught up to me. I sprang out of the bed and gathered her in my arms.

“Noah Grace Payne, I swear if you _ever_ do that again, I will handcuff your hand to mine.” I threatened.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I thought you knew where I was.” She whispered.

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re alright.” I hugged her a little tighter and she whined. “Hush, monkey, you scared me.”

“I like being able to breathe, though.” I sighed and let her go. She bounced out of the room, giggling.

“How’d you cheer her up?”

“I just messed around, really. I guess I took her mind off it.” He shrugged.

“Thank you.” I said softly.

“Anytime, Li.” He blushed softly and I got back to my feet and walked up close to him. He backed up as I got closer and, eventually, his back hit the wall. I heard his breath hitch and I crowded up against him. His head turned to the side, exposing his deliciously dark skin, and I whined at the sight of his submissive nature.

“I knew you’d be a bottom.” I breathed into his ear. I felt the tremor run through his body and, when I pulled back, I saw his tongue swipe over his lips, leaving a tantalizing shine behind. I couldn’t help but attach my lips to his. He hummed into my mouth, relaxing into my chest. His tongue swiped against my mouth and, after putting up a slight fight to keep him interested, I let his tongue slip between my lips. I quickly dominated the kiss, pressing his wrists against the wall on either side of his hips. His breath caught in his throat.

“God, Liam, you can’t just _do_ that.” He panted, leaning his forehead against mine. His eyes were closed. I could count each individual eyelash that fanned over his cheeks. He was achingly beautiful.

“What, this?” I asked, pressing my hips against his. He groaned, his head falling against my shoulder. I could feel the heat and stiffness hiding behind his trousers. It caught my attention.

“ _Please_.” He whined.

“Please, what?” I prompted.

“Touch me.” I ran my fingertips along the waistband of his shorts, dipping my finger inside teasingly. He groaned again. I kicked the door shut and pulled his shorts down, resting them just below his balls. I could hear the shudder in his breath from the chill of the air conditioner. I dropped down onto my knees and admired the view in front of me. His face was flushed and his mouth open. I kneaded his thighs between my hands, feeling the hard, muscled flesh beneath my palms. I let my lips mould around the hard, leaking tip of his flushed cock. A possible plea for me to hurry was choked off as I did this, and his hands pressed against the wall behind him. Carefully suckling on the head, I felt Zayn’s legs tremble. As if moving on their own accord, my hands moved behind Zayn, cupping the firm cheeks of his bum. His whole body jumped from the surprising contact. I let my fingers creep into the cleft of his cheeks and his voice wavered.

“Liam.”

I didn’t pull off his cock to respond, but I let my fingers ghost down to his puckered hole, teasing over the sensitive entrance. He seemed to be torn from pushing forward into my mouth, or backward onto my finger. I popped off his cock and raised my hand to his lips.

“Suck.” I ordered. He complied instantly, taking three of my fingers into his mouth, trailing is tongue in _every_ crease and fold of my digits. When I couldn’t take any more of the feeling, too caught up in thinking about those lips wrapped around my cock to remember to move my mouth on his, I slipped my fingers out and ran them down his spine to the area they rested previously.

As I pressed a finger to him, I took his cock back into his mouth. Pushing from both sides, I sunk my finger in to the knuckle and pressed my mouth down far enough to feel his head bump against my throat. I haven’t deep throated in _years_. Well before the twins were born, and even then I wasn’t that good. I tucked a second finger into Zayn beside the first, stretching him. He let out a whined, breathy “ah!” at the stretch.

Carefully moving my fingers and mouth in time with each other, I had Zayn panting and writhing above me. With my free hand, I tucked my hand into my gym shorts, getting a hand wrapped around my aching dick. I hummed at the feeling and Zayn yelped above me. I swatted at his hip sharply, and I felt his dick twitch between my lips. I tweaked the sensitive skin of his groin and he hissed.

“C-Close.” Zayn choked out above me. I twisted my fingers, searching for a certain spot inside his body. I felt the firm nub and pressed against it firmly. Zayn’s legs gave out abruptly and I let him collapse onto the floor, resuming my ministrations on his body. I tucked two fingers back into him and searched for that spot. When I found it, I sealed my lips around his cock once more, pressing all the way down, teasing at that spot. I could tell it was driving him _nuts_. He was trying so hard not to make noises, gripping against his discarded shorts, his knuckles a bright white from his tight grip. I grabbed his boxers and offered them to his lips. He immediately took them between his teeth, letting out a muffled, but still _loud_ moan. I could feel my cock jump from the sound. I pressed my fingers into his prostate at the same time his cock hit the back of my throat and he let out a shout that I heard clearly through the boxers. His cum hit the back of my throat and I backed off abruptly, keeping my lips sealed around his head, swallowing him down as he gave it, still sucking to help milk him thoroughly.

When I felt that he was finished, I released him, letting him drop onto his hip. His breathing was still uneven; large, heaving pants echoing in the quiet room. I tucked a hand back into my shorts, pulling at my aching cock. The speed of my hand picked up quickly. The sight of Zayn, spent, lying on my floor was too much.

“On me.” Zayn croaked. He shuffled his body until his face was near my knees and I pulled my cock out, my hand working over it furiously. It only took a hand running up my leg from Zayn for me to lose it. I slumped over, working my hand at a slower pace as I painted Zayn’s face and neck. His pink tongue poked out, lapping up the cum he could reach, and I had to look away.

I got up on shaky legs and padded into the bathroom, grabbing and wetting a cloth to clean Zayn’s face off. I swiped it carefully over his face, licking over his lips, chasing the taste of me into his mouth.

“We should probably get out there before my kid wanders off again.” I chuckled.

“Liam.” Zayn whined. “I’m knackered.”

“C’mon. Let’s get your trousers back on.” I pulled him to his shaky feet and helped find his boxers and trousers. He pulled them on while I helped him stay standing. I linked our fingers together for a moment and walked out of my room. Upon walking out, Harry took one look at us and, once Zayn’s back was turned, he winked and tried to high five me. I just rolled my eyes and flipped him off.

Zayn pulled me into the kitchen before we sat down for dinner and ate. We conversed easily, the conversation flowing continuously throughout the meal. It was a delicious chicken dish with steamed broccoli and carrots. After a little bribing with Noah to eat her veggies, we were curling up on the couch for a movie. As per Noah’s request-her second request since Harry had to _beg_ her not to pick _Toy Story_ -we watched _Finding Nemo_.

“Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.  Just keep swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim, swim!” Noah sang along under her breath with Dory. Looking up to Zayn, I saw his eyes trained on my daughter. He had a lazy grin on his face, and I could see his tongue poking out between his teeth. His gaze shifted to me and he grinned, leaning closer.

“This okay?” He breathed. His breath fanned over my lips, making me subconsciously lick them, drawing his attention. I nodded, not trusting my voice, and his lips caressed mine softly. I sighed into his mouth, melting against his body. I couldn’t help but think about our relationship. In my eyes, he was here for the sex from me. I wouldn’t give him that until I knew he wanted a real relationship. I didn’t want Noah to get used to having Zayn around as my boyfriend, or even a friend, and then him disappear when I don’t put out.

“What are you thinking about so hard? I can practically _hear_ the wheels turning in your brain.” He chuckled into the skin of my neck. He was curled into my side, fitting perfectly under my arm. Every once in a while, Noah would glance up at me and grin.

“Just thinking about what I’ll do tomorrow.” I lied smoothly.

“I know you’re lying, but its okay. You don’t have to tell me.” He whispered. I snapped my head to look at him and he chuckled. “I’m good with behaviour. I can read body language. I can tell you’re lying.” He winked.

“Hush.” I pouted, curling close to my daughter. She was lying on my chest, her soft breaths breaking to silence in between scenes in the movie. Zayn’s arm snuck between my arm and side, curing over my hip. His fingers etched patterns into the skin he found when he rucked up my shirt.

 

When the movie ended, Noah was asleep against my chest. Zayn carefully stood up and followed me back to Noah’s room. He pulled back the covers and I lowered her onto her bed and tucked her in. I blinked my thanks to Zayn and kissed Noah’s forehead.

“C’mon. She’ll wake up in a little bit. She doesn’t sleep for too long without me.” I whispered, backing out of the room with Zayn close.

“It’s cute how she loves you so much.” Zayn said after I had shut the door behind up.

“It’s cute, but it means I don’t _ever_ sleep alone.” I sighed.

“So? I’d prefer someone to cuddle with anyway.”

“Yeah, but there’s the awkward morning wood that I have to deal with occasionally that I _don’t_ want to have to explain yet. I haven’t had a proper wank in weeks.” I groaned.

“You know, I’d help you with that.” He said, his face turning a nice ruddy colour. I’m in trouble with this one.

“I don’t want a relationship if it’s just sex. I can’t do that to my daughter. She’s my number one priority.”

“I know that, Liam. If I’m being honest, this isn’t just sex. Well, it isn’t for me. I have feelings for you. I don’t know if you want me that way, but I like you. You’ve got a great personality, good sense of humour, and you’re not bad looking.” He chuckled.

“Thanks.” I smiled. His eyes stared back at me and I pulled him close to me by his waist. “Can I kiss you?”

“Do you even have to ask?” His mouth pressed against mine and I immediately licked into his mouth. He melted into me and, in order to get even more leverage, I towered up to my full height. He had to tip his head up in order to keep kissing, and his hands gripped the fabric of my shirt tightly. I backed him up, passing the threshold of my bedroom, until his knees hit my bed. I kicked the door shut behind us and pushed him onto the mattress. He whined softly when I moved up the bed. When I laid myself over him, pinning the thin form of his body between my larger form and the bed, our kisses turned even more heated. His fingers pulled at the hem of my shirt and I broke away from the kiss in order to look him in the eyes.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m not in this for strictly sex.” I warned. “I was kidding about the whole ‘first date’ thing, but I want to make sure you’re as into this as I am before my daughter and me get attached to you.”

“I want you, Liam. I want _this_. This…whatever it is that we have is great. I wouldn’t give it up for anything. I’m in this for real, Liam.” He said. With his eyes blown to a dark black, I could hardly focus, but his words pierced my ears, and it made me smile.

Instead of replying, I pulled my shirt over my head. He grinned up at me before running his eyes over my exposed skin.

“God, you’re _so_ fit.” He groaned. He lifted his hand up hesitantly, as if asking for permission before he touched. I nodded and his cool fingertips immediately pressed into the warm flesh of my torso. His fingers wrapped over my sides and pulled me down on top of him.

“You next.” I prompted, tugging at his offending clothing. He chuckled and stripped his shirt off, unbuckled his belt and pushed his trousers down. They caught around his ankles and he kicked around until the fell off. I chucked them away from the bed and pushed down my shorts. He pulled me back into him and, with only two thin layers of cloth between our groins, the feeling and pressure was intensified.

I glanced down at the spot our bodies touched and my breath caught at the sight of his obscenely tented boxers. Having the overwhelming urge to mark him, I ducked my head to his neck. I licked a teasing stripe against the skin, making the smaller man underneath me shudder. I lapped at his smooth skin, slowly getting higher up his neck until I was just behind his ear. Taking his earlobe in between my lips, I sucked carefully and I felt his entire body go boneless. I’ll keep that in mind for later.

I traced the waistband of his boxers and his abdomen jumped. He tucked his thumbs into his boxers and pushed them down, revealing his nice, hard cock. I hummed, licking my lips. I could already taste him, the memory from this morning coming back full force. It made my cock jump. His small hand laid over my dick, and I sucked in a breath. Even through my boxers, I could feel the cool touch of his hands on my heated flesh.

“C’mon, Li.” Zayn breathed. I ripped his boxers down his legs, making him gasp, and settled between his legs. I pressed my still clothed crotch against his and shifted my hips up. Our breathing stuttered from the friction and he tilted his pelvis up more, allowing my cock to catch against his rim.

“ _Shit_.” He cursed sharply.

“Do you want a condom?” I asked. He nodded frantically and I moved to the bedside table, grabbing out a single condom and my mostly full bottle of lube. I set them on the bed and pushed Zayn further up, settling in the v of his legs. After admiring the sight laid out before me, I popped the cap on the lube and coated three fingers in it. I laid my hand on his hip as a warning and he let his knees fall apart. His eyes were scrunched up in anticipation. I teased a finger in between his legs until he whined, then, I plunged my finger straight into him, and his breath choked him. I poked and prodded at his insides as he squirmed. He whined again and asked for another in a breathy voice. I gave him what he asked for and opened them, helping to stretch him out.

“C’mon, Li. ‘M ready.” He panted. His legs were trembling as I stroked at his walls. I was three fingers deep and, if he had let me, I would’ve given him a fourth. I knew I wasn’t small. Not in the slightest. It would definitely hurt him if he wasn’t properly stretched. However, the tightness clenching around my fingers was making my head spin. I couldn’t wait to get my cock in him. So, I answered his plea by pulling my fingers out slowly. I wiped them on my bed spread and reached for the condom, tearing it open and rolling it over my aching dick.

I leaded over Zayn and caught his lips between mine, pressing my tongue between his lips with little resistance. I guided my cock to his hole and pressed it against him, not hard enough to enter him, but hard enough for him to feel it. His eyes fluttered as I rocked my hips and, without warning to either of us, my dick slipped in. Both of our breaths caught. Zayn tensed up a bit, and I nearly collapsed on top of Zayn from the feeling. He was _so_ tight.

“Shit, Liam.” Zayn panted. I ran my fingers over his stomach, dipping just enough to brush against the head of his dick. I saw his dick jump from the feeling, and I smirked. I pushed in a bit more, and Zayn bit his lip. It was really attractive. He was slowly driving me crazy.

Once I was working into his body at a steady pace, Zayn got louder. It wasn’t overly loud. With the door shut, I knew he wouldn’t wake Noah, so I let him make noises. His breath seemed like it was sticking in his throat and he whined every once in a while when I would brush up against his prostate. When I felt the heat building up, I angled my hips to hit his prostate directly. He tightened in surprise around me and I leaned down again. I pressed my lips against his and took his cock in my hand.

“Li, Liam, shit, shit, I’m close.” He babbled nonsensically.

“Me too, babe. Hold on just a little longer, yeah?” I coaxed, panting into his mouth. He nodded, squeezing his eyes closed.

I pressed against his spot firmly and he froze, whined, and spilled all over my hand. He panted loudly as I thrust into him, sharp and quick. It wasn’t long until I was filling the condom. I carefully pulled out, making Zayn whine softly. I pressed a quick kiss to his forehead and tied up the condom. I talked Zayn into putting his boxers back on, and I did the same. I laid down carefully next to Zayn and, as my eyes slipped closed, I felt Zayn cuddle up to my side.

 

 

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Noah sang. I sat up groggily and, when a soft groan sounded next to me, I saw Zayn still next to me. It made me smile. The door swung open and I froze, my eyes darting up to my daughter. I haven’t exactly been _hiding_ my…relationship with Zayn, but I’ve made it a point to not sleep with him so she wouldn’t see him in my bed. I knew it would confuse her. She’s so young. She’s not sure what’s going on.

“Hey, monkey!” I looked out the window and, seeing the sun, I pasted a grin on my face. “Look! You slept through the _whole_ night all by yourself!” I exclaimed.

“What’s Zaynie doing in your bed?” She asked. Her head was cocked and her eyebrows were furrowed as she tried to determine herself what was going on. I glanced down and saw Zayn’s eyes open. They looked a little nervous. I motioned Noah to come over and, after a moment’s hesitation, she did. She shyly walked up to the bed. I pulled her onto it and she glanced over at Zayn. He offered her a smile but, instead of returning it like normal, she flinched away and tucked her face into my neck. Zayn’s smile dropped and he looked like a kicked puppy.

“Why’s he in your bed, Daddy?” She repeated.

“I like it when Zayn sleeps in my bed. I like cuddling you at night, and I like cuddling him. Zayn’s a _special_ kind of mate.” I offered.

“Was Mommy a special kind of mate?” She asked. “You cuddled her at night in bed.” My body froze. She hardly mentions her mom.

“Yes. Mommy was a special kind of mate, babe.” I said.

“But she made you sad when she left.” She said softly. “I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I know Mommy made me sad. But before she made me sad, Mommy made me _really_ happy.”

“She made me happy, too.” She smiled, but it faltered. “But, she made me sad when she left.”

“We’ll always be together, yeah? Me and you. You’ll always have me, Noah. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“And Ryan. We’ll have Ryan too. Just us.” She grinned up at me and glanced over at Zayn, her face getting too serious for her young age. “ _Just_ us.” The hurt that flashed through Zayn’s eyes said it all. He got what she was implying: that he’s not invited into our family.

“Alright, monkey. Can you go get Harry to give you some breakfast while I talk to Zayn?” I asked. She nodded and looked at Zayn, considering something for a moment. She shook her head, apparently deciding, and looked at Zayn.

“Goodbye, Zayn.” She said politely. She shook his hand and, if it were any other situation, I would have laughed at her behaviour, but this wasn’t funny. He couldn’t speak. His mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. Noah waited a moment and, when it was apparent that he wasn’t going to say anything, she waved to him and walked out of the room.

Zayn rolled over, facing away from me. He waited a second, and then climbed out of bed. He got dressed in utter silence, and I just watched. He was at the door when I heard a small sniffle, and I darted over to him. I made him face me and I saw his eyes were red.

“Zayn, I-”

“No, Liam. It’s fine.” He said. His voice was a wreck, and it made my heart ache.

“I don’t know what to say. I’ll talk to her, Zayn.” I promised.

“It’s fine. Just let me know?” He asked. His eyes were practically begging me to call. I kissed him softly, extremely different from last night.

“I _will_ call you.” I said. “I’ll talk to her and see what’s going on. I thought she was okay with this. Everyone said she was okay.”

“Her mom died, Li. I don’t think she’ll be okay for a while.” He said honestly. I nodded and, before I could say anything else, he was gone. I could already feel the ache in my heart growing. I groaned loudly and threw a pillow at the wall. It wasn’t as shattering as I wanted, but it would have to do.

 

***

 

For a while, I was okay. It’s not like everything I did revolved around Zayn. However, three weeks passed and I still haven’t seen him, and the ache in my chest was growing by the day. The _almost_ perfectness of this relationship had been a start of that ache, the possibility of him completing our puzzle. And on top of that, Noah had started acting like a brat. I love her _so_ much, but there are a certain number of tantrums I could take in a day. She would wake up completely fine, but when I refuse to give her the simplest of things, like a bag of crisps after snack time, she explodes. Her moods are all over the place, and I _didn’t_ know what was happening.

The end to the tantrums came when she took it too far. She had been playing a game with Harry in the tv room while I cleaned up from dinner. I heard her griping at Harry and I smiled at her sassiness. She’s been spending too much time with her Uncle Lou.

“Harry, stop it!” She screeched. I heard a crash and I froze. When I heard Harry yell and start cursing, I felt the blood drain from my face. I ran into the tv room and was shocked at the sight I saw.

Noah was crying on the floor and Harry was standing stock still with a shattered vase at his feet, wide eyed. I looked at his face and he was holding back tears. I glanced at his bare feet against and saw the cuts across his legs and over the tops of his feet.

“Harry-” I breathed.

“It’s fine. Get Noah out.” He said.

I grabbed my daughter since I had on shoes and sent her up to her room with a warning to behave and not make this any worse than it already is. She stormed upstairs, sniffling, and I went to find a broom. I got the glass swept up and got Harry the first aid kit.

“Are you okay?” I asked him softly as he cleaned the blood off his feet.

“Yeah, just stings a bit.” He said.

“I’m really fucking sorry. This mood is going to stop right now.” I promised. I hugged him tightly as an apology and went to find my daughter. Thankfully, she was in her room like I told her to be.

“Am I in trouble?” She asked. Her back was turned to me as she played on her floor.

“Yes. What you did was _very_ naughty. You know you really hurt Uncle Hazza?” She shrugged.

“I’m very angry right now.” She said without any apology.

“Yeah, well I’m not in the best mood either.” She scoffed.  “What’s going on?” I asked.

“Nothing. Go away, I don’t like you anymore.”

“Why have you been acting so badly?” I asked. I ignored her comment, knowing she didn’t really mean it. She just shrugged, playing with her toys.

“I’m mad.” She almost growls

“Why are you mad, monkey?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s not an answer.” I point out.

“But I really don’t know.” She sighs.

“I don’t like seeing you angry with me.” I said softly, petting at her hair. She swiped at my hand and glared at me.

“I like it.”

“You like being mad?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? I don’t like how it makes me feel. I get mad at everyone. Even people I love. It makes me upset and just _angry_. It makes me feel fevered and yucky.”

“Really? Me too.” She said, looking up at me. She crawled onto my lap slowly, and I smiled. It seemed that opening up about my own feelings helped her open up, too.

“I think everyone is like that, monkey.”

“How do I make it stop?” She whispered.

“Well, first we need to find out what’s making you feel so bad.” I said. “What’s got you so angry, little one?”

“Everything. I just _can’t_ be happy.”

“Why aren’t you happy?” She doesn’t reply, and she doesn’t look at me. I think about it. “Does it have something to do with Zayn?” I held my breath as she froze. She simply nods.

“We were all sad when Mommy left. You, me, and Uncle Hazza. Everyone missed her. Everyone cried.” She said softly.

“What do you miss most?” I asked. She doesn’t answer again, she just shrugs.

“What’s your favourite memory of Mommy?”

“I don’t know.” She whispered. She looked up at me, warily, like she thought she was gonna be in trouble for not remembering her mother. “I can’t remember her much. I just remember she made us sad. She _left_ us all alone and never comes to see me. Does she not love me anymore?” Her eyes were welling up with tears and I hugged her.

“Noah…do you remember what happened to Mommy?” I asked. She shook her head. I took a deep breath. “You remember after your sister got taken?” She nodded. “Everyone was really sad about that, too.” She nodded. “Well, Mommy was very super sad. Probably even more sad than you, because, then you didn’t really know what was happening. Well, Mommy wanted to go see Grandma and Grandpa, so she went up to Leeds to see them. Well, when she was on her way home, someone hit her car. They were driving _really_ fast, and she got really hurt.” I looked down at Noah, and she was playing with her fingers.

“Hey. It’s okay if you cry, baby girl.” I said. Not a second after I said that, a sob burst from her lips and I hugged her close to me. “Mommy was really hurt, and the doctors couldn’t help her. So, she left. She _can’t_ come back, baby. It’s not that she _won’t_. She’s dead.” It’s hard to explain the concept of death to a child this young, but I had to try. I was a little wary about using the word ‘dead’ to her. I’ve never said it in front of her before.

“Dead?”

“That’s what it’s called. She’s dead so she can’t come back.”

“But I can’t remember her.” She sobbed. “I want to remember her, but I can’t! I miss her, Daddy, I know I do, but I can’t remember _why_!”

“I am _so_ sorry you can’t remember her, baby girl, but she loves you very much anyway. I’m sorry she can’t watch you grow up. I’m sorry you don’t have her here. I miss her tons, too, but it’s okay if you don’t remember her. You’re little.” I said soothingly. “If you want, I’ll tell you all about her. I’ve got loads of pictures from when we took you and your sister to the park, but I didn’t want you to get upset, so I put all of them away.” I said. I never imagined that my decision to store all the photos of Sophia would make Noah forget her mother, but now I felt _awful_ for doing it. It was really hard for me to see a picture of her when I knew that would be the only way I ever saw her. The only picture I left out was on top of the fireplace. That was my favourite photo of her, so I left it out, but Noah isn’t tall enough to see it, so, to her, it’s like her mother never existed.

“It’s okay, Daddy.” Noah said, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“It is. I’ve got a Daddy who loves me lots, and Uncle Hazza does too.”

“I do love you lots, monkey. Nothing will ever change that.”

I figured that I should talk to her about Zayn, but I wanted to leave that for another time. We’ve had enough negative emotion for today.

 

***

 

When things started looking up again, it was the day after Zayn came back into my life. It figures that Harry would be the one to get us back together. He threw my phone at me one night and my breath caught in my throat when I saw Zayn’s face on the screen. Harry had video called him.

“H-Hey.” I stammered.

“Hey, Li.” He responded shyly. I could barely think to speak; I missed him _so_ much.

“How are you?” I asked dumbly.

“I’ve been fine. I went up to see my parents a few days ago. I just got back.” I froze when Noah hopped up behind the couch, leaning over to look at my phone.

“Hey, bug.” Zayn said calmly. I was basically _vibrating_ from nerves, while he’s over here cool and collected, like the argument three weeks ago never happened.

“Hey, Zaynie.” She grinned.

“I miss you guys.” He smiled at both of us.

“I miss you too.” I said, looking at Noah.

“We both miss you.” Noah stated in a ‘duh’ voice. “You should come over sometime!” Her voice excited. “Daddy, can Zaynie come over for dinner tonight?” She begged. Like I would say no.

“Only if ‘Zaynie’ wants to.” I said, letting him know he didn’t have to.

“I’d love to. I’ll see you two lovely people at six?” He asked.

“Six should be great.” I grinned. Noah nodded and he hung up after waving goodbye.

 

When Zayn knocked on the door, Noah shouted and ran over. She flung open the door and launched herself at Zayn.

“I missed you!” She screeched at him. He laughed and hugged her back, less crazily.

“I missed you too, little bug.” Zayn looked up at me and I felt my heart clench.

“Hey.” I whispered.

“Hey.” He grinned.

“I missed you, too.” I said. He set Noah down and, once she walked out, bored of us simply staring at each other, he latched himself to me much like Noah did to him.

“God fucking _shit_. I missed the hell out of you.” He breathed. I set him down softly and raised his chin so I could kiss him softly.

“Missed you lots.” I admitted. His breathing was stuttering. I rubbed my hand down his back like I do with Noah until he calmed.

“Thought about you two _all_ the time. I missed you guys so much. Barely left my flat cause I was too scared to see her.” He said quickly.

I didn’t respond, just pulled him back to my chest. I swayed with him since treating him like a child seemed to help.

 

When we finished with dinner, Harry stayed back in his room to let us all catch up, and I’ve never loved him more than right now. The three of us settled down to watch a movie. Noah looked a little nervous to ask to cuddle, but I grabbed her and let her lay on my chest since Zayn was against my side. It was about an hour into the movie when Zayn’s phone started ringing. I jumped, having been dozing, and let him get up to answer. Noah was breathing deeply, fully asleep, on my chest.

His voice was low while he talked, in a voice soft enough that I couldn’t decipher his words. He walked back in and I moved to let him back on the couch.

“That was the station. I have to go in.” He said. I looked up at him.

“Ryan?” I asked. He nodded. I sat up. “Did they find her?”

“Not her, but a little girl that we think was taken by the same man escaped. With her help, we might pin this SOB down. They’re bringing me in to interview her since I’m really good with little kids.” He explained while he gathered his things. He moved to the door and I laid Noah down onto the couch. I met him at the door and kissed him.

“Go be a hero.” I whispered. He nodded and ducked out the door.

I went and picked Noah up, tucked her into her bed, and climbed into my own. I stayed awake for about an hour before I dropped off.

The phone ringing loudly by my head woke me up. I groaned and got up, trying not to let it wake Noah.

“Hullo?” I answered, clearing my voice a bit.

“Mr. Payne?”

“Yes?”

“This is London Police. We’re going to need you to come down to the London Hospital.”

This is the call I’ve been dreading. This is the ‘come identify your daughter’ call.

“Why?” I asked, my voice was shaky, weak, but I _had_ to know.

“Your daughter is here, and I’m sure she’d love to see you when she wakes up.” Wait…what?!

“She’s alive?!” I asked. I yelled for Harry.

“Yes, Mr. Payne. She’s extremely emaciated and she has a few bruises, but she’s stable.”

“Oh my god.” I breathed. Harry burst into my room right as my breath started getting shallow. He pulled the phone from my hand, told the man on the line to hang on, and shoved me into a sitting position on my bed. He bent me forward and wrapped my hand around my inhaler, making me take a couple hits of the medicine while he talked to the person on the phone.

“Yes. Yes. He will be there shortly.” He said quickly. “Thank you _so_ much. Bye.”

“Liam, you need to go to the hospital.”

“What about Noah? I don’t want her to see her sister until I’m sure she’s strong enough to.”

“I’ll stay here and watch her. You go. Now.” He hassled me into some decent clothes and into my car.

“Drive carefully. Please.” He begged. He handed me my wallet, keys, and my phone, and closed the door. I sat in the car for a few minutes and just _breathed_. I had to calm down before I started driving.

When I felt calmer, I started driving.

 

I whipped into a parking spot and threw open my door, running into the hospital.

“Ryan…was brought in by the police. What room?”

“There’s no one under that name. How old is he?” The slightly flustered nurse asked.

“No. She. It’s my daughter. Ryan Payne.”

“Ah, yes. She’s in room 318.” I nodded my thanks and ran off. I took the stairs, needing to let out a little anxiety. It’s been two months, and I’m about to see my daughter again.

I paused outside the room and looked at the wall. ‘Ryan Payne’ was in the name plate that said who was in the room. I never thought I’d see my daughter again. But I was about to. I nearly jumped out of my skin when the door opened. Once it closed, I realised I didn’t get a look at Ryan.

“Are you Mr. Payne?” A man in a police uniform asked.

“Liam.” I said, extending my hand.

“Liam, your daughter is fine. Like the supervisor said on the phone, she’s emaciated. She’ll need time to get over this, and don’t be surprised if she has problems in the future.”

“Did he touch her?” I asked softly. Other than never finding her, this was my greatest fear: that he raped her.

“No! Not like that.” He assured me. “Now, if you’d like to go see her, she’s in there. She should wake up at any time.” He smiled and I opened the door carefully, taking a deep breath to prepare myself for what I’d see.

She was so tiny. Noah had grown a bit in the last two months, but, other than the weight loss, Ryan looked exactly the same as the day she was taken in the store. I stood a few feet from her bed, watching her thin chest rise and fall. The sight of that alone had my knees weakening. The feeling of utter _relief_ I had was elating. I nearly collapsed as the realization I had sunk in.

My daughter was alive, and she was _right in front of me_. This broken puzzle piece that fit oh so perfectly between my piece and Noah’s piece. We were three fourths of a puzzle, waiting for our fourth piece to come back.

I pulled up a chair right next to her bed and just watched her breathe. It’s like she was an infant again. Only this time, I’m _never_ letting her out of my sight.

I rested my face in my hands, trying to come to terms with this. She was _here_ , and she was _alive_. God, I missed her so much.

“W-Who are you?” The little voice sounded _so_ scared. I whipped my head up and she looked at me, cocking her head.

“Hey, sweetie. Do you remember me?” My heart broke at the thought that my own daughter didn’t remember me. Her eyes were watering, but she nodded.

“Daddy.” She sobbed. I was unsure about giving her a hug. When she held her arms out for a hug, however, I didn’t have a second thought when I gathered the tiny girl into my arms. “Daddy.” He sobbed again.

“You’re okay, baby girl. I’m here now. I’m _so_ sorry I let this happen.”

“Where’s Noah?” She asked.

“She’s at home. She’s sleeping. It’s pretty late, did you know that?” She shook her head. “It’s almost three in the morning.” I said, checking my phone. I knew what she was gonna ask next.

“Where’s Mommy?”

“Mommy…she’s gone, baby. She got in a bad car wreck a while ago. She’s not coming back.” I said. Ryan’s eyes teared up again and I hugged her back to my chest, crawling onto the little bed with her.

I cuddled her close and, when I remembered, I rucked up her shirt so I could run my palm over his skin. She was breathing shakily and trembling. I pulled the thin sheet over our bodies and hugged her.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Am now.” She said softly. We sat in silence for a while, long enough that I think she fell asleep, before her head flew up, and her eyes were wide. “Where’s Zayn?!” She exclaimed.

“Zayn? You know Zayn?” I asked. Her eyes were watering, and her breathing was getting uneven again.

“Zayn!” She screamed loudly. “Zayn!” She was sobbing, her face streaking with tears, but when I went to wipe them off, she screeched. “No! Don’t touch me!” Her eyes were screwed shut. Her fists were curled into balls in front of her chest, and she was shaking. I got out of the bed before she could hurt herself. The door flew open, and Zayn was standing there-our fourth and final piece.

“Zayn!” She sobbed. He hurried over to her, and he bundled her into his arms.

“You’re okay, sweetie pie. Did you see who’s here? Daddy came to see you.” He said softly. She nodded into his neck. He swiped a palm up and down her back, and, before long, she was asleep. He laid her back down and I pulled the blankets up over her body. I kissed her forehead softly, tears pricking my eyes. Zayn ushered me out, probably to talk, and shut the door softly behind us.

“How does she know you?” I asked.

“I was part of the team that led her out of the building she was in.” He said.

“You found her?” I asked breathlessly.

“I helped. It wasn’t just me.” He said. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

“God, Zayn, I can’t thank you enough.” I said shakily. I knew that if I spoke louder, my voice would crack, and that’s embarrassing, so I whispered.

“Its fine, babe. Seeing you this happy is thanks enough.”

“I love you.” I breathed into the skin of my neck. I felt him freeze, and I paused.

“You love me?” He asked.

“Fuck, yes, Zayn. I love you _so_ much.” I kissed him firmly, but kept it chaste since we were in public.

“I love you too, Li.” I heard my phone ringing from inside the room, but I let it go to voicemail, too caught up in _Zayn_ to even think about moving from this. I heard two text tones, and two more calls come through before I got frustrated and walked in. I picked up my phone and saw two texts and three missed calls from Harry.

“Shit.” I cursed, calling him back.

“Liam!”

“Is Noah okay?!” I asked, stepping outside.

“Physically, yes. There’s nothing wrong, she’s not hurt or anything.” I felt myself relax.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I think Noah had a bad dream or something. She’s completely freaking out and asking for you. Will you be home soon?” He asked.

“Ryan’s here. She’s pretty good. Has a few bruises, and she’s extremely thin, but they didn’t _touch_ her, so that’s good. But I probably won’t be home until tomorrow. Is there any way you can calm her down?” I asked.

“Honestly, I don’t think so. It’s bad. Like, she hasn’t stopped crying, and she woke up like twenty minutes ago.”

“Um…can you bring her up here?” I asked. “I think it’d be good for them to see each other. I wanted to wait until Ryan felt better, but now is as good a time as any.” I sighed.

“Alright. We’ll be there in a bit.” He said. We said goodbye and hung up, and I walked back in to see Ryan. The sight of her was as shocking as it was the first time. It’ll probably take a while for it to sink in that she’s really back.

“Hey, babe.” I said, slipping into the seat next to her bed.

“Hi, Daddy.” She said. Her voice was a little groggy, but she wouldn’t go back to sleep.

“Do you wanna see Noah?” I asked.

“Yes!” She shrieked. “I missed her.”

“She missed you too, munchkin. Uncle Harry is gonna bring her up, okay?” She nodded. “Do you need anything? Are you hungry or thirsty?”

“Yes. Thirsty.” She smiled.

“Alright. I can send Zayn in. I’ll be back in a bit.”

After I got her a bottle of water, and, just in case she gets a bit hungry, a cup of pudding, I walked back outside the door to wait on Noah. I heard her crying before I saw her. Once she laid her eyes on me, she squirmed to get out of Harry’s arms and ran towards me. I walked to her to meet her and let her crash into my chest.

“Daddy.” She sobbed into my shoulder.

“Hey, monkey. What on earth is wrong?” I asked softly, swaying back and forth. I walked us into an empty waiting room and sat down in a chair, letting her sob herself quiet. She pulled her head back and I saw tears and snot on her face. I knew there would be some on my shoulder, but it didn’t faze me anymore.

“She’s dead, Daddy!” She yelled, breaking out into another wave of fresh tears.

“Mommy’s dead, baby, yes. I’m so sorry. Did you have a bad dream about Mommy?”

“No, Daddy. Ryan’s dead!” She screamed. Her face crumpled immediately after, and I tugged her into my chest.

“Calm down, baby girl. When you’re calm, I’m gonna show you something.” I said softly.

“O-Okay.” She hiccupped. I sat with her for a while. It was maybe ten or so minutes later that I heard her breathing even out. I made sure she wasn’t asleep before I stood up. I set her on her feet and took her hand, leading her to Ryan’s room.

“Now, I’m gonna let you look in this window, and you can’t scream, okay? There might be people sleeping nearby.” I warned. She looked up at me with wide eyes and nodded, holding her arms up. I picked her up and settled her on my hip, letting her peer into the small room. Ryan was awake, sitting up on the bed. There’s no denying that she was alive. She was talking with Zayn.

“Do you want to go in right now? She said she wants to see you.” I said. Noah suddenly went shy.

“What if she’s different?” She whispered.

“Different how?”

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“She will always love you; but she is different. We’re not sure what happened while she was away yet. So, while she’s getting used to everything again, be careful. You can’t be screaming and scaring her, okay?” She nodded quickly. “Okay, I’m gonna tell her you’re outside. Stand right here and I’ll open the door when you can come in.” I opened the door in front of me and entered the room

“Hey, babe. Noah’s here to see you.” I said, smiling at the two people in the room. Zayn’s responding grin was blinding.

“Noah?” Ryan echoed, looking around. “Where is she?”

“She’s just outside. Can she come in?” Ryan nodded and I opened the door, beckoning my small daughter inside. She walked in warily, fiddling with her finger nervously. When she met her sisters’ eyes, her lower lip started trembling. I knelt down next to her and made her look at me.

“No tears, okay? Ryan’s right here. She’s okay, yeah?” I prompted. Noah sniffed, took a deep breath, and nodded. “Good. Now, she really wants to see you.” Noah smiled softly and looked over at the bed.

I walked over with her and picked her up so she could look at her sister.

“Hi.” Ryan said softly.

“Hey.” Noah grinned.

“Can you get on the bed?” Ryan asked Noah, looking at me.

“Is that okay?” I asked. She nodded, and I set Noah on the bed, moving to sit down next to Zayn. When I looked back up at the bed, the girls were curled around each other. I smiled at the sight of my two girls together. I couldn’t help but pull my phone out of my pocket and snap a picture of the two of them.

“Daddy.” They both whined in unison. They both looked at each other and then laughed. I missed this so much: the chorus of laughter that followed the two of them saying the same thing at the same time. I grinned at Zayn and saw him smiling already. My two-three, maybe, if I allowed myself to have those hopeful thoughts-puzzle pieces were all here.

It was perfect.

 

***

 

Until it wasn’t perfect.

Two weeks ago, Ryan came home with us. She spent nearly five days in the hospital. They wanted to get as many vitamins and nutrients into her while they could. She already looks better. Her face isn’t as sunken, and her eye bags were getting lighter.

However, the day Ryan was checked into the hospital was the day Zayn-my third piece- stopped talking to me. He doesn’t return my calls or respond to my texts, and I’m not sure what I did wrong. Harry hasn’t heard anything from Niall, and I haven’t even seen Zayn in the hall or outside smoking. I may or may not-I most definitely _have_ -run in front of the building several time on my morning jog in order to see him. It didn’t happen.

Thinking back on our last conversation the night I got my daughter back, the only thing that I could think of that would have scared him off was me telling him I love him. But he did say it back. And I really, _really_ love him. I’ve been terrified of falling for Zayn since I first developed feelings for him, but since I admitted it to myself, I’ve been so much happier. The first person I ever loved outside of my family was Sophia, and when she was ripped away from me, it left a giant hole in my heart that I couldn’t fill. But Zayn filled it, and I let him. I’m okay with loving him. However, he doesn’t appear to be okay with loving me.

It went on for almost a month, Zayn ignoring me. Him ripping himself out of my life without so much as a farewell or explanation was heartbreaking. Even my girls noticed. However, I couldn’t deny that their extra cuddles at night made me smile. It was _so_ good to have my family, minus Sophia, back. But Zayn is alive and I miss him. And, if I had taken the girls to the park hoping to see Zayn on the way out, no one but me needed to know.

 

“Daddy! Daddy! Come swing us!” Noah squealed, running out in front of me towards the swing set. I kept a close eye on both of them as they scurried over to the swings. They picked out two swings next to each other and sat down, waiting patiently. I set down the picnic basket and threw out the blanket before moving over to the swing set. I stood behind the girls and pulled Noah back first, letting her swing forward. I taught her to swing by herself about a month ago, but I had to get her started. Once I saw that she was good, I started pushing Ryan. When I got Ryan going high enough, I stood back a bit, giving her a nudge every once in a while. A scream shook me from my thoughts and I saw Noah drag her feet in the dirt to slow herself but, impatient, she jumped off. She stumbled and fell, but, before I could worry, she took off. I followed her with my eyes, knowing she was safe. I saw her run up to a slim figure in a leather jacket and my breath got caught in my throat. It was Zayn.

I got Ryan off the swing and we both walked over. When I got closer, I could hear Zayn trying to talk himself away from Noah.

“Sorry, babe, but I need to get home.” He said awkwardly.

“But I haven’t seen you in _ages_ , Zaynie!” She whined.

“Noah, will you and Ryan go sit on the blanket for a bit? Stay together and I’ll be right here if you need me.”  They both nodded and took off, giggling and pushing at each other as they ran back to the blanket. I turned to look at Zayn, and my chest started to ache.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” I stated, crossing my arms. I was channeling my “inner dad” as Harry called it. He said it was super intimidating. Zayn noticeably curled in on himself, submitting to me.

“I’m sorry.” He said, voice small.

“Zayn, I meant it when I said I love you. Why’d you ignore me?”

“It’s stupid.” He said.

“Tell me anyway.”

“Niall mentioned something to me about him loving this guy who took him out to dinner twice a week. He didn’t really love him, he loved what he did for him, and I guess I thought that’s how it was for us. I was part of the team that saved your daughter, and that night you told me you love me. I guess I thought that you didn’t really love me; you just loved what I did. So I just kind of ignored you. It was really stupid and childish of me. I realised that, well my mom realised that and she knocked some sense into me, but I wasn’t sure how to approach you again.” He explained sheepishly. His teeth sunk into his lower lip enticingly and I almost moaned at how good he looked. “I haven’t been in town for the past few weeks. I knew that if I saw you I’d beg to have you back, and that’s a little embarrassing.”

“Zayn, I do love you.” I said softly, cupping his cheek softly.

“And I meant it when I said I loved you back.”

“Would you like to join us for lunch?” I asked. He grinned at me and nodded. I took his hand and led him over to the blanket where my girls were playing a clapping hand game. I laughed at them.

“Is Zaynie gonna eat with us?” Noah asked.

“Yes he is. Is that okay with you two?” They both nodded and we sat down.

As we ate, the conversation between the four of us flowed freely. The girls were still getting used to having each other back, and I often went into their room at night to check on them. More often than not, I saw them cuddled up together in Noah’s bed. They have been inseparable, and it was so cute to watch them interact together again. We talked about what they were gonna do in the remaining week and a half of summer.

“Can we go swimming, Daddy?” Ryan asked.

“Where will we go swimming? We can go up to Nana and Granddad’s house tomorrow?” I suggested.

“Yeah!” They chorused. Noah shuffled over to me on her knees and leaned towards me.

“Can Zaynie come too?” Noah whispered into my ear.

“I don’t have problem with it. Why don’t you ask him?” I asked her. She grinned and settled herself into his lap, hugging his neck.

“Zaynie, do you wanna come see Nana and Granddad with us?” She asked in her sweetest voice. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was batting her eyelashes at him. Of course he caved.

“I would love to.” He grinned at her. When her attention was drawn away from him, he looked at me with fear in his eyes. I frowned at him and nodded off to the right.

“Girls, I’m gonna talk to Zaynie. We’ll be right over there.” They nodded, and we walked a few yards out of earshot.

“Why the face? You look a bit terrified?”

“Whose parents are these grandparents?” He asked.

“Mine. Is that okay?”

“What are you gonna tell them? About me?”

“I’m gonna tell them you’re my boyfriend, and I love you.” I said carefully, taking his hands. “They shouldn’t care, Zayn. They love me, and as long as you treat me and the girls right, they will love you, I swear.” I cupped his jaw and brought his face to mine, catching his lips with mine. It was a sweet kiss. My tongue slipped into his mouth and massaged at his tongue. He moaned softly, gripping onto my hips.

“Stop.” He breathed. “If you keep doing that, I’ll have to ruin this picnic to take you home.” I chuckled into his mouth and kissed him again, keeping it chaste.

“I love you.” I whispered against his neck. I kissed the soft skin there and he whined.

“I love you too, Li, but stop teasing me.”

“You love it.” I said, blowing on his ear.

“I do. But not in public when I can’t have you do anything about it.”

“Well, if we distract the girls at the house, my bedroom is an option.” I tucked my thumbs into his belt loops and pulled his body into mine. Our hips were flush together, and I could feel the heat radiating from his crotch. “Are you hard for me?” He whined, eyes shut, and nodded.

“Please, Li. Take me home.” He panted.

“But we’ve barely eaten.” I said, fake pouting. “Let’s go eat.” I brushed a hand against the front of his trousers, and his legs shook.

“You’re such a tease.” He groaned. I nodded, kissed his cheek, and led him back over to the blanket. I could see the tent in his pants, and it was making the back of my neck _really_ hot. It was safe to say that we both ate our lunch very quickly, and hustled the girls back to the car.

 

***

 

Sometime between Ryan coming home and Zayn coming back into our life, the girls fell in love with him too. I had _finally_ gotten a call back from the local fire department concerning a job. I had applied months ago, when Sophia was still here, and everything was good. But now, I got the job, I had Zayn and both my girls, and everything was perfect. And this time, the perfectness stayed.

Seeing Zayn and my girls around my crazy hours was a challenge in the first couple weeks, but we settled out a schedule. Since the girls we so crazy about Zayn, the swapped between Harry watching them and, if Zayn wasn’t working, he took them for a night or two while I worked. The school hours with the girls helped a bit, and I found a daycare center for them to spend a few hours at after school until Zayn left work. He got more normal hours so we would know when he wouldn’t be available.

As soon as I saved up enough money, I put a payment down on a little house not far from where we lived now. It gave us some space away from Harry, who had gotten super friendly with Niall over the past few months. Now, it was time to ask Zayn the big question.

“Hey, babe, can I speak with you?” I asked the dark haired lad one night. It was a rare off night for both of us, and so we coaxed the girls into bed about thirty minutes early. I led my boyfriend back to our bedroom and he raised his eyebrows.

“Little presumptuous, aren’t we?” He chuckled.

“Not asking for sex, Z. I want to talk with you.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah! Yes, Zayn. Everything is fine.” I said quickly. I was freaking out a little. _What if he says no?_

“Okay, so talk to me.”

“I love you very much. And I’ve known there was something special even when I couldn’t stand you the first day we met. We’ve come so far since then, and so have the girls. They love the mess out of you, Zayn, and I hope that you know I do, too.” I was playing with my hands, but I only knew because Zayn took them in between his palms. I took a deep breath and came out with it. “I bought a house.”

“You’re moving?” He breathed, a frown coming over his features.

“I’m hoping _we’re_ moving.” I said softly.

“Wait. What?”

“Zayn, will you move in with me?”

“Liam.” He breathed.

“I love you, Zayn. And one day, if you want to, I’ll propose to you, but for now, I want you to live with us. Harry already is thinking about moving in with Niall, so we’ll be alone for rent. I thought that, since I’ve got a steady job, and both of my girls are back, I wanted to get a real house. So, will you?”

“I would love to live with you, Li.” He grinned, falling onto me and kissing me firmly.

“I love you, Z.”

“I love you too, babe.”

 

So this new life that I have with my no-longer-missing puzzle pieces has gone smoothly. Our puzzle is complete, and all it took was a few months and that stupid stranger from the park. Who knew that the tattooed ‘bad boy’ would be the best thing that happened to me? Maybe, just maybe, I’ll thank Noah for wandering off that day at the park.

Not today, but someday.


End file.
